Another Padalecki
by kpjackson
Summary: This is a cast fic. Jared tries to convince his sister (Kate, my OC) to audition for Supernatural. For the purpose of this fic, Danneel and JJ don't exist and Jensen is single. TRIGGER WARNING: Blood, abuse, torture, gaslighting. Note: This story is still in progress. It's been a really tough semester but I'll get back on it after finals.
1. Not an Actress

"Come on, Kate! You loved theatre in school."

"That doesn't make me an actress, Jared." I rolled my eyes at my brother.

"You used to help me with auditions all the time. You can't just pretend you aren't good at it. I've seen you act. You'd be perfect for this role."

"I have a job, Jared."

Yeah, a job that you hate!"

That doesn't mean I can just throw everything I've worked for away," I yelled, throwing my hands up.

"Its just an audition. You don't have to commit yet. I'm not asking you to quit your job." He remained calm, despite my outburst.

"I don't know, Jared." I ran a hand through my hair and looked down. He reached out and pulled me closer.

"Will you at least think about it? Please, Katie?" I made the mistake of looking into my brother's puppy dog eyes and sighed.

"Fine. I'll think about it." He smiled in victory as he handed me a packet full of information for the audition. "No guarantees, Jared," I said as I walked away.

I thought about what Jared said and decided to go to the audition. I was nervous when I went in and the casting crew was definitely surprised to see me. They were even more surprised when I asked them to keep my audition a secret but they agreed anyway.

The audition went smoothly but I still doubted myself. I wasn't an actress. There's no way they would hire me. But as I turned to leave, I could have sworn I saw the casting director smile.

When they called to tell me I got the part, I was shocked.

"Do you still want to keep your audition a secret?"

I requested a few weeks of vacation time but didn't tell my boss about the audition. I'd never missed work before so he had no problem approving my time off. But even though it was easy to get out of work, telling Jared wouldn't be so simple.

I wasn't really sure how to tell him…so I didn't. And neither did anyone else. When I showed up on set, I saw Jared and Jensen standing in front of Bob Singer, the director.

"C'mon, man! Why can't you just tell us?" Jensen asked. I started to sneak up behind them and Bob tried to hide a smile.

"She requested we keep her involvement a secret for a while."

"Why? Is she one of _those_ actresses?" I scoffed.

"Nope. Not even a real actress. Just Jared's pain in the butt, little sister." They whipped around and Jensen stared at me, dumbfounded, as Jared pulled me into a hug.

"Why didn't you tell me you got the part? You didn't even tell me you auditioned!"

"Surprise?" I shrugged, biting my lip.

"Kate?" Jensen was still in shock.

"Why are you staring at me like that? Get over here a give me a hug!"

Jensen shook his head, smiling, as he went to hug me. His arms were strong around me as he whispered, "Man, its been forever."

"I know. You guys are always working. I had to get a job on the show just so I could see you!" Jensen chuckled and ruffled my hair.

"Aw. You missed me."

"Oh shut up, Jensen." His smile grew and I stuck my tongue out at him before turning around and heading to the makeup trailer.


	2. 6 Foot 4 Moose Man

My first day on set went pretty well despite Jared trying to mess up _every single one_ of my takes. I knew he liked to screw around on set but had no idea just how far he would go.

"Cut!"

"No wonder you guys spend so much time on set. I can't believe you get paid that much to screw around all day, Jared." He shrugged and ruffled my hair. I smacked him away. "Jared!" I glared at him and he chuckled.

Someone immediately came over to fix my hair. "I've never seen someone other than Jensen deal with Jared's antics as well as you." She grinned as she focused on my hair.

"Yeah, well I've had my whole life to practice." I rolled my eyes but smiled at her.

"Just watch out. The boys are a hundred times harder to deal with when they're together on set." I raised an eyebrow and looked over at Jensen and Jared. Jensen had been completely professional so far but I doubted he would stay that way.

The props director, Robin, walked up when my hair was back in place and handed me a big frying pan. "Okay, this is the real one. I'll give you the fake one later so you can actually hit the stunt guy and not have to worry about hurting him." Lowering her voice, she whispered, "Please don't give it to Jensen or Jared." I chuckled.

"No worries, Robin."

But when I walked back to my mark, Jared followed me. "Oooh! Let me see!"

"No way, Jared." I held the frying pan away from him and put my free arm out in front of me defensively.

"But I just –"

"No." He pouted but took a step back so I relaxed and looked down. Big mistake. When I looked up, my eyes widened. "Jared…" He charged towards me and before I could defend myself, he threw me over his shoulder. I let out a little scream of surprise and the rest of the crew started to look over. "Jared! Put me down!"

"Jensen! Hurry, take the frying pan." Jensen walked over and I gripped the frying pan a little tighter. I tried to look up at him but my hair was in my face. I could hear him chuckling. Reaching up, he moved the hair out of my face.

"Sorry, sweetheart." Grinning, he plucked the frying pan out of my hands and passed it off to Jared. Defeated, I sighed and put my head down. I could feel Jared laughing as he started playing with the frying pan.

"Could you at least put me down first?"

"No one likes a pouter, Kate," he joked before he started spinning around. His grip on me was tight but I still clutched onto him.

"Jared, stop!" I could hear the crew laughing and I couldn't help but giggle. Suddenly, he let me down but my head was still spinning. I stumbled and would have hit the ground if Jensen hadn't caught me. And as for Jared, he was laughing so hard he was about to fall over too.

I giggled into Jensen's chest and he kept a hand at my waist to steady me, smiling the whole time. When I finally regained my composure, I stepped towards Jared and put on my best pouty face. "Can I have my pan back?" I asked pitifully, with my blonde curls still covering most of my face. He grinned and handed it back to me before someone came out to fix my hair again. Still laughing, Jared cackled, "You should have seen your face! You looked so scared!"

"Of course I looked scared! There was 6 foot 4 moose man charging at me!"


	3. Never Too Late

I stayed with Jared the whole week of filming. I didn't get much sleep but I was a lot happier than I had felt in a long time. I tried not to show it, but I was really sad to have to go back to work. I loved being on set but I was just there as a guest star. I wasn't a real actress. I was a lab tech. And as much as I hated it, I couldn't just walk away from it to pursue an acting career. Jared was the actor, not me.

As I was laying in bed thinking about this, my phone went off. It was a text from one of my coworkers. The message read, "Is this you?" and included a link to a news article. Curious, I clicked the link and my eyes widened. The headline "Jared Padalecki seen with blonde outside his Vancouver home: Should his wife be worried?" was at the top of the page. A picture of us walking to his car was featured along with a ton of comments.

I sat confused as tears filled my eyes. All the comments were accusing me of being a slut and a home wrecker. As I stared at the screen, all I could think was "He's my brother!"

I sent the link to Jared and then pulled up my twitter account. I didn't use it often but I figured, why not joke about the situation? It might help me feel better. I added the link to article and a message saying:

jarpad Wow. I go to visit my brother & now we're dating? If I had known that's how things worked, I'd have visited ChrisEvans instead

Within minutes, both Jared and Gen had retweeted my message to their followers and Jensen had responded by tweeting:

KatePadalecki as if being Jared's sister wasn't hard enough…

I smiled and closed my eyes before my phone went off again. Chris Evans had responded to my tweet. My jaw dropped before I read the message and burst into laughter.

Hey KatePadalecki it's never too late to visit :P


	4. Call Me

After being on set, it was even harder to go to work. This was a particularly bad day. I was sitting at my desk when my breathing started to get heavy. My eyes widened as panic set in. _Not here. Not now_. I pushed away from my desk and got up abruptly. _I have to get out_. I managed to make it to the stairwell before collapsing.

I had the railing in a death grip as the tears started to fall. Shakily, my other hand came up to grab my head. _Stop_. I couldn't breathe and I couldn't stop the tears from falling as my whole body shook. My heart was pounding and my chest ached. _Not again_.

Somehow, I managed to pull out my phone and call the first number on speed dial. Jared.

"Hey, Katie. What's up?" I couldn't respond but he could hear my heavy breathing. "Kate? What's going on?" He paused before continuing, the concern clear in his voice, "It's happening again isn't it?" I whimpered. "Shh. It's okay."

"Need you…just talk, please," I gasped out.

"I'm here. You're okay. Just focus on breathing, okay?" It took about 15 minutes of Jared talking before I was able to calm down and breathe properly again. Tears still streaming down my face, I sighed in relief. It was over.

"Thanks, Jared."

"Its getting worse, isn't it?"

I was silent for a while before whispering, "Yeah."

"Maybe you should—"

"No."

"Kate—"

"Jared, I can't." He sighed.

"I'm worried about you, Katie."

"I know. I'm sorry." My voice shook.

"Don't—" He paused and took a deep breath. "Just see someone about this. Please?"

"I'm scared," I whispered.

"I know you are but, sweetheart…you have to fight this."

"I'm trying but Jared, I'm not strong like you."

"Yes, you are. I know it doesn't feel like it but you are just as strong as me. You can do this. You've been fighting this for years. I know you can keep going. But sometimes, you just have to ask for help." I sighed.

"I'll think about it, Jare. But I have to get back to work."

"Okay…love you. Call me if you need anything."

"Love you too." I hung up and made my way back to my desk. It wasn't long before one of my coworkers, Josh, came over and sat on the edge of my desk. I kept my eyes on the computer screen, thinking that he might just go away if I ignored him. I guess that was too much to hope for.

"Hello, Sweetness." I rolled my eyes.

"What do you want, Josh?"

"Just to take you out tonight. What do you say?"

"No, thanks. It's been a long day."

"Then lets go out for drinks! I can help you relax." He wiggled his eyebrows.

"No, I'm just going to go home after work…go to bed early."

"Come on! Don't be a party pooper."

"I'm tired, Josh." He finally seemed to get the hint and stood up.

"Fine. Some other time, then." I didn't reply and he walked away. I sighed and looked at the clock. 5:03. It was time to go home. Thank goodness.

Gathering up my things, I walked to my car and drove home, immediately lying down in bed. The panic attack really took a lot out of me. I could probably sleep for 10 hours and still be tired.

An hour after I fell asleep, my phone started ringing. I groaned and rolled over to answer the phone. "Hello?" I mumbled sleepily.

"Hey. What are you up to?"

I was still too tired to make sense of anything so I scrunched up my face and rolled over. "What? "

"Were you…asleep?"

"Jensen?"

"Yes, it's Jensen." I could practically hear him rolling his eyes. "What time is it there?"

I groaned and turned to look at the clock. "6:30."

" Like…PM?"

"Yeah."

"Why were you asleep?"

"M'tired."

"Rough day at work?"

"Always."

Jensen was quiet for a few seconds before saying, "Ever think about quitting? You could do it, you know." I sighed.

"Why did you call, J?"

"Jared said you called him earlier. I was jealous." I laughed.

"Oh really?"

"Yeah. Don't go picking favorites. Unless it's me. It is me, right?"

"Yup. You caught me. I'd choose my brother's best friend over him any day."

"For real, though, Kate. I miss you. You're my friend too, not just Jared. You know that, right?"

"Yeah," I whispered.

"Are you okay? You sound different today."

"Yeah, I'm just tired," I lied.

"Well get some sleep, then. And call me later. I really do miss you."

"Okay."

"Goodnight, Kate."

"Night, J."


	5. You're my coworker, not my boyfriend

I groaned as my ringtone pulled me from sleep. Why in the world was I being called at 7AM on a Friday? I grabbed my phone and squinted at the screen. A Vancouver number. "Hello?"

"Kate? It's Robert Singer." I rolled over to my back.

"Hey, Bob. What's up?"

"Well…" I furrowed my eyebrows as I waited for him to continue. "I know you only signed on for one episode and it hasn't even aired yet but we'd like to write you in some more later in the season."

I hesitated. "Bob, I don't know…you know I'm not really an actress."

"We wouldn't have hired you if you weren't good, Kate. I've seen the edited footage. It's incredible. Just…think about it. Please?"

"Okay."

After hanging up, I stayed in bed thinking about what Bob had said. I couldn't just take more vacation time off; I would have to quit my job. Could I really do that? Sure, I hated my job but quitting would be a huge risk. There was no guarantee that I could find another job after my guest role on the show ended. And should I really let myself get attached to working on set? It was so much fun but the more time I spent enjoying myself, the more it would hurt when it ended.

I sighed and slid out of bed to get ready for work. I tried to mentally prepare myself for the day as I was putting my makeup on. I just had to make it through eight hours before I could come back home and curl back up in bed. Things hadn't really gotten any better after my last panic attack. I was tired all the time and all I ever wanted to do was sleep. It had been about two weeks since I had talked to Jared or Jensen other than brief text messages. I could tell they were worried but I just didn't have the energy to finish a conversation with either of them.

I took a deep breath before walking out the door and driving to work. The day passed by slowly but eventually, the clock on the wall read 4:30. Just 30 minutes left. The phone next to my desk rang and I answered it, keeping my eyes on the screen in front of me. "Hello?" I expected it to be one of my coworkers calling to ask a question so my eyes widened in surprise when I heard Jared on the other end.

"Kate! Hey, this is kind of last minute and everything but what are you doing tonight?"

"I was just going to go home after work."

"Not anymore. You're coming to dinner with me and Jensen. We're in town for the weekend."

"What do you mean you're in town? Aren't you supposed to be in Vancouver?"

"We got the weekend off…thought we'd surprise you." I sighed.

"Okay. When are you gonna get here?"

"Uh. Well, we're actually already sitting outside." I rolled my eyes.

"Okay. My shift ends in 30 minutes. I'll head out then."

"Great!"

I hadn't planned on having to see the boys so soon. I was exhausted. How was I supposed to make it through dinner?

30 minutes later, I clocked out but when I turned around to leave, I nearly ran into someone. "Excuse me," I said politely but they didn't move. I looked up, confused. Josh.

"You wanna get some dinner?" He moved closer and I stepped back away from him out of instinct.

"Sorry, Josh. I've already got plans." I tried to move around him but he blocked my way.

"You always have plans. How many times have I asked you out?" _Too many,_ I thought.

"Josh, I really need to get going."

"Who do you have plans with?" I sighed.

"Why does it matter?"

"Because it's not me!" I frowned.

"Doesn't that make it the opposite of your business?"

"Everything you do is my business, Kate!"

"I'm a grown woman, Josh. I can make my own decisions. Who I spend my time with is none of your business. You're my coworker, not my boyfriend." I was losing my temper and tried to push past him. He, however, wasn't happy with my outburst. He grabbed my arms and pushed me against the wall. I gasped and my eyes widened in surprise.

"Is there a problem here?" I heard a familiar voice speak behind Josh. I looked up at Jensen, who towered over Josh. Jensen looked down furiously at the situation before him. Josh turned slightly and released me as soon as he saw the angry man behind him. I had never seen Jensen that angry. He looked like Dean.

"Nope. No problem at all." Josh spoke, clenching his jaw.

"I wasn't talking to you." Jensen reached towards me, pulling me away from Josh. "Jared is waiting in the car. Let's go." He put his arm around me and we started walking away before Jensen paused. "Touch her again and I swear, you will regret it for the rest of your miserable life."

I didn't have to look back to know how scared Josh must have been. I just leaned closer to Jensen as we walked out. "Are you okay?" He spoke softly and I looked up into his concerned eyes. Looking back down, I nodded, and he rubbed my arm, comfortingly before kissing the top of my head.

"I'm just glad you came in."

"Yeah well you were taking too long," he joked. "I'm starving." I laughed.

"Well we better hurry up then. Wouldn't want you to starve. Your fans would kill me." He chuckled and shook his head as we approached Jared's car.

" Ride with us, okay? We can come back for your car later." I nodded and he opened the door for me.

"Hey, Kate! What took so long? I'm starving here," Jared teased. I rolled my eyes.

"You and Jensen both. Do they not feed you in Canada?"

Jared was about to respond before Jensen spoke. "This guy was harassing her." Jared narrowed his eyes.

"What?"

"It's not a big deal, Jared." I didn't want the boys getting worked up. They were already worried about me.

"He had you against the wall, Kate! How is that not a big deal?"

"HE WHAT?!"

I sighed and put my head in my hands. "Can we just go to dinner?"

I felt Jared's hand on my shoulder. "Yeah, okay."

We didn't talk much on the ride over but once we got the restaurant, the boys launched a series of questions.

"So have you talked to Singer?" I narrowed my eyes.

"Yeah, he called this morning."

"So…are you gonna come back for some more episodes?" Jared looked hopeful.

"I don't know, Jared. I can't just quit my job and I don't have any more vacation time that I could use for shooting. Besides, I'm not a real actress."

"But didn't you have fun with us?" He turned on his puppy dog eyes.

Exasperated, I sighed. "Of course I had fun with you guys."

Jensen spoke up. "Then come back. It'll be great!"

"The episode hasn't even aired yet! We don't know if the audience is even going to like me or not." Jensen rolled his eyes.

"They're going to love you."

"Come on, Kate. It'll be fun." Jared's puppy dog eyes were in full effect.

"I'll think about it just stop looking at me like that!" Jared smiled.

"Okay. So long as you think about it."

The rest of the night was spent talking about lighter topics, thankfully. Still, by the time we had finished dinner, I was drained. I was leaning back in our booth as my eyes started to droop.

"I guess we better get going before she falls asleep." Jensen chuckled and the boys stood. Jared threw some cash on the table and pulled me gently out of my seat. I stumbled out of the restaurant and into the car. I was closing my eyes when Jensen asked, "Where are your keys?"

"What?" I was confused.

"Give me your keys. We'll stop by your work and I'll drive your car back home for you."

Still hardly able to keep my eyes open, I said, "You don't have to do that."

"Well I'm sure not gonna let you drive. C'mon. Gimme." I sighed but handed the keys to him anyway, too tired to fight. We didn't even make it back to my car before I had fallen asleep. I woke up a little while later and shifted, opening my eyes slightly. Jared was carrying me inside while Jensen held my front door open. Jared looked down when he felt me move in his arms. I started to open my mouth but he shushed me and laid me down in my bed, pulling the covers over me.

"Go back to sleep," he whispered. I was going to argue but was too tired to form any coherent sentence so I just closed my eyes and let sleep overtake me.


	6. A Whole New World

Jensen and Jared left Sunday morning to fly back to Vancouver. I went through most of the week just like before their visit. I woke up, went to work, came home, and went to bed. I'd eat every once in a while but didn't have much of an appetite. I knew the boys would throw a fit if they knew, but I just couldn't force myself to eat more than one small meal a day.

I pulled my knees up to my chest as I sat on the couch, waiting for the new episode to start. I tensed up every time I appeared on screen, my character learning about the monsters that lurk in the dark. She may not have known much about the supernatural world, but she handled herself pretty well, even knocking someone out with a frying pan when the Winchesters were in trouble. It would be reasonable for Cassey to appear in later episodes and maybe even become a hunter but could I really pull it off?

My phone was blowing up throughout the episode but I was too scared to check the twitter notifications. I sat there, frozen, staring at nothing after the episode ended. I don't know how long I stayed there like that until my phone rang.

"Kate, they love you!"

"What?"

"Have you not checked twitter? The fans are going crazy over you! Please, you have to come back."

"Bob, I don't know…"

"You said you didn't think you were a real actress but the audience loves you. They want you back too. Please, won't you come back?" I sat there, silent. Maybe I could give it a shot. "Kate?"

"Okay," I whispered. "I'll do it."

"Great! We'll write you in as soon as possible but it will probably be about a month before we need you on set."

"Alright."

Hanging up the phone, I couldn't believe what I had just agreed to. This was never the plan. Acting was always just a hobby. I never dreamed that I would choose it over my job, a job I hated but still. Acting wasn't reliable. Even if I work on the Supernatural set, that doesn't guarantee me a job when they inevitably kill my character. I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. _What have I gotten myself into?_

The next day, I put in my two weeks notice at work and when I got home, I texted the boys to let them know. They both seemed excited but I was anxiously thinking of everything that could possibly happen. Don't get me wrong, I love the boys and working with them the first time was incredibly fun, but I couldn't help worrying about everything. A whole new world was opening up for me…and it was terrifying.


	7. Stop Worrying

My flight landed at Vancouver International Airport and I texted Jared to let him know. He had the day off so he offered to pick me up at the airport and help me get settled in his Vancouver home. I was just going to get a little apartment but Jared wouldn't hear of it. I rolled my eyes when he argued that he had plenty space and it would be silly to rent an apartment when I could just stay with him but I gave in to him.

I saw Jared long before he found me. At 6'4, he was hard to miss but I was a little over a foot shorter and much more difficult to find. His face lit up when he finally saw me. He rushed towards me and took my bags before pulling me into a hug and lifting my feet off the ground. I laughed at his excitement and wrapped my arms around his neck. "Good to see you too," I joked.

He smiled and set me back on my feet. "I missed you."

"Really? I couldn't tell." He chuckled and put a hand on my back, leading me through the crowded airport. It was much easier to travel through crowds with Jared. People automatically moved out of his way whereas, alone, I typically had to weasel my way through to get where I needed to be. I stayed close to Jared and soon we made it out of the airport and to his car. Jared threw my bags in the truck and I slid into the passenger's seat.

Jared got in the car and glanced over at me as he started to drive. "You wanna stop and get something to eat?"

"Nah, I'm not hungry."

He looked over incredulously before his eyes returned to the road. "You just got off a four and a half hour flight and you're not hungry?" he questioned.

I shrugged my shoulders, staring straight ahead. "I ate on the plane," I lied.

"You sure that plane food was enough to fill you up?"

I rolled my eyes. "Not all of us can eat their body weight in turkey legs, Jare."

He chuckled, putting his hands up in surrender before returning them to the wheel and pulling into his driveway. He helped me carry my bags into one of the guest rooms and left me to unpack my things.

I had just finished when Jared knocked and peaked his head in. "Hey, Jensen wants to go out for dinner tonight. Steakhouse sound good to you?"

I wasn't really in the mood to eat. All I wanted to do was go to sleep but I couldn't just tell Jared I wasn't hungry. There's no way he'd believe me.

"Uh…yeah. That's fine," I said, looking up at him.

"You sure?" I nodded and smiled a little bit. "Okay. You done unpacking?"

"Yup."

"Great. Let's go, then. Jensen said he would meet us there."

The restaurant wasn't very far away from Jared's house but Jensen still beat us there. I followed Jared to the table and slid in beside him. I stared at the menu, frustrated. I finally settled on a grilled chicken breast and Jared nudged me. "That's not very much, Kate." I raised my eyebrows.

"Well not compared to what you're getting, I'm sure."

He grinned as he told our waitress he wanted a 16oz steak with various sides. Jensen laughed, amused by Jared's appetite.

"You know, if you had eaten more growing up, you probably wouldn't be so short."

"I'm not that short. You're just abnormally tall."

Our conversation eventually shifted to work. The boys had me laughing hysterically with stories from set. "How has Misha put up with you for so long?!" I asked, wiping tears from my eyes.

"I don't know what you are talking about. We are nothing but professional with him." I scoffed at Jensen's obvious lie.

"Is this the same professionalism you both showed me when I was on set and you teamed up to steal my props and mess up my takes?"

"Exactly. Could we be any more professional?" I laughed until I saw a frown form on Jensen's face?

"What?"

He nodded toward my plate. "You've barely eaten half of your food. Are you feeling okay?"

"Oh. Yeah, I'm just not very hungry."

"Are you sure?" Jared frowned and reached towards me, placing a hand on my forehead. I leaned back and pushed his hands away, glaring.

"Get your big moose hands away from me. I'm fine. I'm just a little tired, Jare." His gaze softened.

"Do you wanna go home?" I smiled and rolled my eyes.

"It's just a little jet lag," I lied.

Jensen leaned forward and looked me in the eyes. I raised my eyebrows at him as he stared. "Are you sure—?" He reached towards me and I knocked his hands away.

"Would you guys stop worrying? I've had enough to eat, I don't have a fever, and I just want to spend some time with you."

"Aw did you miss us?" Jensen teased.

"Aww," Jared echoed.

"I changed my mind. You guys suck." I tried to glare at them but failed as soon as I looked into Jensen's green eyes and saw him grinning at me. My stomach lurched as I sat there, transfixed by his gaze. Why had I never noticed how gorgeous his eyes were? I glanced down, surprised at myself. What brought this on?


	8. Do You Trust Me?

After being back on set for a few days, I started feeling a little more comfortable with filming. My character would be spending a lot of time with Dean, however, and that difficult. I loved working with Jensen but it was hard to concentrate on acting when I was with him. I tried to ignore my growing feelings but it wasn't working very well. The way he smiled, the way he laughed, the way his eyes shined…it was all just too much. I couldn't make eye contact with him without melting. I was trying to hide it so he wouldn't notice the effect he had on me. I could not let him find out. He was my brother's best friend…and besides, I would never be good enough for a man like Jensen.

I stood on set, waiting for the director to call 'action.' I was working with a guest actor but Jared and Jensen would be in he scene later so they decided to watch. It was a pretty intense scene so I was hoping to get it done in as few takes as possible. My character, Lacey, had started hunting a little after she met the boys, mostly just salt and burns but this time, she teamed up with Sam and Dean. Demons got involved and my character was definitely not prepared for that. She was just starting out, after all. A demon was getting the best of her while the Winchesters were preoccupied with other demons.

In this scene, the demon was supposed to hold Lacey against the wall, choking her. Obviously, the actor wouldn't actually be hurting me but we had to make it look real. I had to put myself in that situation. I needed to channel the fear, which can be risky. We had gotten through a few takes before it really started to get to me. As the actor held me to the wall, my heart was pounding and I really felt like I couldn't breathe. I needed to get out…preferable without anyone realizing what was happening. I managed to make it through the scene but as soon as I heard the director yell 'cut,' I pushed passed the actor in front of me to rush out of the room.

Jared had gone out for some air during the last take so he didn't notice my hasty exit but Jensen had seen the whole thing and followed me out of the room while everyone else just looked around, confused by our sudden exodus.

I managed to make it to an empty room, unaware that Jensen was following me. Collapsing to my knees, I attempted to regulate my breathing and calm my heartbeat but couldn't stop my rising panic. I clutched at my heart and tears started to stream down my face, ruining my makeup.

Suddenly, the door burst open and I scrambled back towards the wall. Jensen's eyes widened when he saw my trembling body and I tried to hide my face from him, horrified that he had found me like this. Jensen rushed over to me and reached out a hand. "Kate, what's wrong? What's happening?" he questioned, obviously worried. I just shook my head, unable and unwilling to talk. This just made him more concerned and he turned away from me shortly to yell for Jared. Turning back to me, he tucked my hair behind my ear and held my face his hands. I kept my eyes downcast and he whispered, "C'mon, Kate. Please talk to me." I glanced up at him and immediately looked back down as more tears fell.

Jared ran into the room and asked, "What's going on?"

Jensen's body was blocking my own until he turned and said, "I don't know. She won't talk to me."

As soon as Jared saw me, he came forward and sat down in front of me. He took my hand and spoke softly. "C'mon, Katie. Breathe with me." I looked in my brother's eyes and he reached up to wipe away my tears.

I was starting to calm down before Jensen started to stand and spoke to Jared. "I'll go get a medic for her." My breath got caught in my throat and I reached out, grabbing him by the wrist and preventing him from standing. He looked at me for an explanation and again I simply shook my head. He turned to Jared who explained for me.

"It's a panic attack. She doesn't want anyone to know. She should calm down in a few minutes."

Once I was breathing more regularly, Jared pulled me to his chest and rubbed circles on my back, continually whispering to me. A few minutes later, I pulled away, refusing to look at Jensen. _He saw_. I stood to leave when Jensen stopped me.

"You should take a break."

"I'm fine," I murmured as I continued out the door. One of the makeup ladies was immediately in front of me, fixing what my tears had ruined. She didn't even question me, for which I was grateful. However, when she had finished, I noticed Jared talking to the director.

"Kate isn't feeling very well. I think she needs a little break before—"

"Jared, I'm fine."

"Actually," the director interjected, "we got the shot. You all can go ahead to lunch."

I almost argued but just sighed. "Okay."

I went straight to my trailer, skipping lunch. My stomach was still in knots and there was no way I'd be able to keep anything down. It wasn't long before I heard a knock at my door and Jared called out to me. "Can I come in."?

"Not right now. I really just want to get some sleep before my next scene."

"Alright but let me know if you need anything."

Jensen wasn't as easy to get rid of. I didn't even want to think about him but he knocked shortly after Jared left. I heard his voice and took a deep breath, staying quiet. _Maybe he will just go away._ He opened the door and peaked in. My eyes widened in shock and I asked, "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to make sure you were okay."

"I'm fine." I stared at the ground. I still couldn't look at him.

He took a step towards me. "Look me in the eyes and tell me that."

I stayed silent and he knelt beside me. "Why won't you talk to me?" I glanced up and saw the hurt in his eyes. A single tear escaped, trickling down my face before Jensen reached up to wipe it away.

"I can't."

"Why not? You can tell me anything, Kate."

I shook my head as more tears fell. "I don't want you look at me differently. I know I'm not as strong as you or Jared and I just—" Sucking in a breath, I paused. Jensen sat quietly, waiting for me to continue. "I just don't want you to leave me." Confusion flashed across his face.

"Why would I do that?"

"Because I'm not worth the trouble." Jensen's jaw clenched before he reached for my hand.

"Do you really think that?" I didn't answer. I didn't need to. "Kate, you're one of my best friends. I would never leave you. Ever. You're kind and smart and funny. You are absolutely gorgeous and you are one of the strongest people I have ever met. But you don't have to do this alone. I'm here for you. Always. Do you trust me?"

His eyes were so sincere, so caring. I stared at him for a few seconds before slowly nodding. Jensen relaxed and pulled me into a hug. I rested my head on his chest as he rocked me back and forth. I started to fall asleep against him. Jensen saw my eyes close and waited a few moments before kissing my forehead and resting his chin on the top of my head. My heart fluttered and then I was out.


	9. Tell Her

Jensen paced around his trailer, running his hand over his face. How could he be falling for his best friend's sister? Jensen and Kate had been spending more time together after she agreed to trust him. She still didn't tell him everything but she was a lot more honest and comfortable with him now. He had always enjoyed her company but it was becoming more than that. He couldn't help but smile when she laughed and joked with him. She would stick her tongue out at him and pout when he teased her and he couldn't get over how adorable she was.

He found himself staring at her, studying her. The way she bit her lip, how she played with her hair, the curve of her hips…he noticed it all. And it drove him crazy. Working with her on set was amazing. Sure, he and Jared goofed around all the time on set but when Kate was there, it got even crazier. She tried so hard to make it through scenes but Jensen and Jared made it incredibly hard on her. Scenes could get really intense on the show and Kate was an amazing actress. When her character was sad or upset, Jensen couldn't help but try to lighten the mood. He did everything he could to get her to break character and smile at him. She would laugh and try to glare at him, never quite succeeding. Jensen loved it.

He had been worried about her for a while. She obviously hated her previous job and he could tell she was having a rough time. She stopped answering his calls and only replied with short text messages. Now that she was acting on set with them, she seemed a lot happier. He loved watching her eyes light up when she got excited and heaven help him if he was the reason for it. She would jokingly push him away when he teased her, both of them unable to stop laughing. Sometimes, she'd laugh so hard that she would have to grab his arm to keep from falling to the ground. Eventually, she would be in tears and Jensen would pull her into a hug and she would continue to laugh into his chest. Those simple touches were the highlight to every day.

Jensen would often catch himself staring at her throughout the day. She was tiny, even if you weren't comparing her to Jared. She was only 5'3 and they teased her about it all the time. Kate would just roll her hazel eyes and say she was normal sized and the boys were just giants. However, she didn't hesitate to use their height to her advantage. Claiming she needed a different perspective, she would climb up and sit on their shoulders. Jared would laugh and run around with her holding tightly, for fear of falling to the floor. Jensen would pretend to be annoyed but Kate knew he didn't mind. In fact, he loved it. She would rest her hands on his head, gently running her fingers through his hair. He couldn't help but smile then and had to fight to not reach up and play with her hands. Sometimes, she would lean forward to look at him and poke his face. He'd reach up then and wrap his arm around her securely, pulling her off his shoulders and into his arms. She had no idea how he managed to do it but always squeaked and broke into a fit of giggles when he did. He'd look down at her, mesmerized by how happy she made him feel. She was beautiful, inside and out.

He had always known she was attractive but she was Jared's sister. He only saw her as a friend before…so what changed? Jensen didn't know. All he knew was that he couldn't get Kate out of his head and he felt guilty for that. He wanted to hold her, play with her slender fingers, stay up all night talking to her, and he wanted her to feel the same. But he could never tell her. She was Jared's little sister. He couldn't do that to his best friend but he couldn't keep it a secret either.

Jensen was pulled out of his thoughts when Jared, himself, knocked on the door and entered. "Hey, man. Have you seen Kate?"

Jensen froze. Had Jared figured it out? "No."

"Oh. Okay. Well will you let me know if you see her? I need to talk to her."

"Yeah, sure." Jared turned to leave but Jensen stopped him.

"Hey, Jared? We need to talk." Jared turned back to Jensen, confused.

"Is everything okay?"

"Yes. No…I don't know." Jensen took a shaky breath and Jared sat down next to him.

"What's going on?"

"I just…I'm sorry. I can't help it. I'm trying, I really am. I promise." Jensen started to ramble.

"Whoa. What are you talking about?"

Jensen sighed and looked down. "I like Kate…like, a lot." Jared raised his eyebrows and Jensen continued before he could say anything. "I know she's your sister, man. I'm not gonna try anything, I promise. I won't even tell her how I feel. I just feel so guilty and I can't keep this a secret from you. You're my best friend. I just needed you to know. I feel like I'm going crazy!"

"Jensen, calm down. It's okay."

"I—wait. You're not mad?"

"No, I'm not mad. J, I've known you for years. I know you don't want to hurt me or Kate. I trust you, man. But…"

"But what?"

"I think you should tell her."

"You what?!"

"I think you should go for it. Tell her how you feel." Jared paused. "You're a great guy, Jensen. I'd much rather her date you than some random guy I don't know."

"Seriously?"

"Absolutely. If you really like my sister, tell her."

Jensen thought about what Jared had said for a long time before saying anything to Kate. He was incredibly nervous to tell her, even though Jared gave him his blessing. Would she even be interested? He was probably just like a brother to her. Despite his inner turmoil, he knocked on the door to Kate's trailer during one of his breaks. She smiled when she opened the door.

"Jensen, what's up?"

"I need to talk to you." Kate noticed that Jensen looked a little…off.

"What's wrong? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I just…I just need to talk to you."

"Okay." She stepped aside. "Come on in." Kate was nervous. Why was Jensen acting so weird? Did she do something wrong?

"Kate. We've known each other for a long time, right?" She nodded, unsure of where he was going. "I uh…"

"Jensen, you're scaring me." His eyes widened.

"Sorry, I just…would you, maybe…" He took a deep breath before looking her in the eyes. "Would you like to go on a date with me?" Kate stopped breathing. Did he just? Was that real? "It's okay if you don't want to." Kate hadn't said anything and Jensen had started to panic.

"You—you want to go on a date with me?" She finally spoke and Jensen looked down and ran his hand through his hair.

"Yeah, I mean…if you want to. But if you don't, that's fine. I'm sorry if I'm making you uncomfortable, I just—"

"Jensen." He immediately stopped and sucked in a breath as she looked in his eyes. "I would love to go on a date with you."

"Really?" He looked hopeful and Kate smiled.

"Really." Jensen grinned. "But just out of curiosity, how do you think Jared will react?"

"Oh, yeah. About that…I kind of already told him." Kate raised her eyebrows. "He said he was fine with it. I was actually really surprised."

Kate grinned. "So let me get this straight...you asked him for my hand?"

"No! No, no, no, no. He's my best friend! I just didn't want to offend him!" Kate burst into laughter at his rising terror.

"Don't worry, J. I'm just teasing." Jensen relaxed. "So…where are you taking me?" she asked and Jensen laced their fingers together.

"Wherever you want, sweetheart."


	10. Mystery Girl

Kate stepped out onto the ice with Jensen following slowly behind, their fingers laced together. The two glided around the rink with the other skaters, talking and laughing with each other. After a while, Kate pulled her hand out of Jensen's before spinning around to face him. He smiled, knowing that she was about to show off for him.

Jensen wasn't a bad skater but he was nowhere near as graceful as Kate was on the ice. Kate learned when she was little and even though she hadn't been skating in years, it didn't show.

He watched his girlfriend skate, his eyes never wondering from her. She captured his full attention. They had been ice-skating on a few dates before but he never got tired of watching her skate. He only wished that she would put her hood down so he could see her face. As soon as she stepped onto the ice, her face lit up. He just wanted to see her smile but it was cold and as much as Kate loved skating, she didn't enjoy being cold. So her hood would stay up, no matter how much he begged.

Eventually, she made her way back to him and he pulled her close. He put his hands on either side of her face and she closed her eyes, reveling in the warmth. He pressed his lips to hers for a moment before pulling away. Kate smiled and took his hand.

The couple continued skating until Jensen stumbled. Kate tried to keep him upright but ended up falling with him instead. She landed on top of Jensen and giggled into his chest. She felt his laughter as well and looked up at him. She pulled out of his arms and untangled her legs from his before moving to straddle Jensen before he could get up. He raised his eyebrows and she smiled, leaning down to kiss him. "I love you."

"Love you too, Katie."

* * *

The next day, everyone knew about their date…well, kind of. They weren't careful enough. Someone had managed to take multiple pictures of the two but Kate's face was hidden in every one of them. The internet was blowing up with questions of who Jensen's mystery girl was. No one thought it was Kate, and for good reason. She was Jared's sister. They had no clue.

Several guessed that the mysterious woman was a professional figure skater. Kate had a good laugh at that one. She didn't think that she was even close to good enough for that but the pictures showed her executing flips and jumps that an amateur skater wouldn't be able to do. It was really no surprise the fans thought she was a professional.

Kate stood in Jared's living room reading one of the 'mystery girl' articles when Jensen walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. "Do you want to tell them?" he asked.

Kate looked up. "Do you?"

"I'm ready if you are."

Kate took a deep breath. "Okay. How do we do this?"

"I have an idea." Surprised, the two of them looked up to see Jared, who had a massive smile on his face.

Twenty minutes later, Jensen had tweeted a picture of the two of them together. Kate was sitting on Jensen's lap, her face in clear view as she looked up at him. Also in clear view was Jared, fangirling in the background. The caption read 'so Jared found out I'm dating his sister.'

And the fandom exploded.


	11. I'm dating the hot friend

It had been 3 weeks since the fans found out about us and even though most online posts about our relationship were positive, I was incredibly nervous about meeting the fans. Luckily, since this was my first convention, I didn't have to do nearly as much as Jared and Jensen but I still had several panels to attend.

The boys and I walked into the green room, my hand tightly gripping Jensen's. My first panel wouldn't be for a while which meant I had more time to relax…and by relax, I mean do the exact opposite. Jared and Jensen would be busy which meant that I would be sitting in the green room with no one to keep me from worrying. Or at least, that's what I thought. Before the boys left, they introduced me to Richard Speight Jr. and Rob Benedict. They were both incredibly nice and we got to know each other while Jared and Jensen were away. By the time they returned, I was doubled over, laughing so hard I couldn't breathe. Rich and Rob were hilarious and managed to get me to calm down. I had heard about the two of them from Jared but nothing beat meeting them in person.

Most of the day went by in a blur. I had a panel with Misha before watching one of Jared and Jensen's panels from the back of the room. I also wanted to see Rich and Rob's panel but I watched it from backstage on one of the TV's so I wouldn't have to be around as many people. Unfortunately, that plan backfired when a fan walked up to ask a question. "Jensen and Kate recently announced that they are dating. Have you guys met Kate yet and what do you think of her so far?" I froze in my seat as I waited for one of them to speak.

"I'm incredibly jealous of her." Rich laughed at Rob's comment and I bit my lip.

"Jealous of her? I'm jealous of Jensen! Kate is fantastic. We met in the green room earlier today and I've got to say, she's even more beautiful in person."

"I think she's watching back stage, actually."

"What do you guys think? Should we bring her out?" The crowd roared and I shot up from my seat, ready to flee. However, I wasn't quite fast enough and Rich was able to grab me by the hand before I could get too far away. "C'mon, Kate. They want to meet you." Ignoring my objections, he pulled me on stage. Rich led me to his chair and stood behind me. Rob reached out to take my hand and squeezed reassuringly. He could tell that I was uncomfortable. Sure, I was already on stage with Misha earlier but I had been expecting that. I was not prepared for this.

Rich spoke from behind me. "So, Kate. What's it like to date your brother's best friend?" I blushed and brought my hands up to cover my face.

"I cannot believe you," I mumbled.

"Come on, Kate. Everyone wants to know."

"Well," I looked to the audience. "You know how when you were younger, your older brother had all the hot friends?" I heard a collective shout of agreement. "I finally get to date the hot friend. And it's not as awkward as you might think." I paused for a moment before continuing. "As you could probably tell from the picture that Jensen tweeted, Jared was actually pretty excited."

"So there was no big fight between the boys?" one fan asked.

I laughed. "No. And Jensen actually asked for Jared's permission first, so there weren't really any hard feelings."

"Are you guys talking about me?" I turned and the crowd started screaming. I smiled, seeing Jensen peak his head out of the curtain. He started walking towards me and I stood to hug him.

"Did you come to rescue me?" I whispered softly. He chuckled and kissed my forehead.

Turning to the crowd, he spoke into the microphone. "Sorry guys. I'm afraid I'm gonna have to steal my girlfriend back."

It wasn't too long before we were on our way back to the hotel. We all went to our own rooms and after a quick shower, I slipped under the covers of the fluffy hotel bed. I was exhausted and it didn't take me long to fall asleep but I guess staying asleep was too much to hope for. I jerked awake around 1 AM and looked around the room for whatever had woken me but didn't see anything. Sitting up, I reached over to turn on the lamp beside me. Looking around again, I put my feet on the floor and started to stand. Feeling a hand brush against my ankle, I jumped away from the bed and shrieked. I ran across the room and pulled the door open, sprinting down the hall to Jensen's room. Panicked, I knocked until he opened the door. He looked tired until he saw my face.

"Katie? What's wrong?" he asked as he pulled me inside.

"Someone is in my room."

"What?" he asked, shock evident on his face. "What do you mean, someone is in your room?"

"I mean that there is someone in my room! I went to get out of bed and someone…or something grabbed my leg."

His eyes darkened. "Stay here." I bit my lip and sat down on his bed. It was about five minutes before he returned, shutting the door behind him. "Well no one is in there now. Maybe it was a ghost," he joked.

"Of course I get the haunted hotel room."

Jensen smiled softly. "Just sleep in here tonight. We can see about getting you a new room tomorrow."

"Okay." He got under the covers beside me and I rested my head on his chest, closing my eyes. I slept much better next to Jensen. With his arms wrapped around me, I felt safe.


	12. Pills

When I woke up, Jensen's arms were wrapped around me. Still drowsy, I buried my face into his chest and sighed. His arms tightened around me and he pressed a kiss to my forehead. I smiled, eyes still closed and Jensen's lips trailed down to my neck and shoulders. I giggled and looked up at him.

"What's so funny?" I couldn't help but smile at his gruff, morning voice.

"Nothing. I just like waking up with you." Jensen smirked.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

I sat on stage between Jared and Jensen for our panel. The boys quickly put me at ease, knowing that being on stage made me nervous. Only a few fans questioned us about dating. There were actually more questions about Jared and me. They wanted to know what it was like working together, how much time we spent together outside of work, and how much time I spent with my nephews. All the fans were nice and I started to really look forward to meeting them at the photo ops.

We only had a few minutes left when a girl walked up and directed her question towards me. "Who would you say is your favorite cast member?"

"Rob Benedict," I blurted out.

The crowd screamed and the boys looked at me in fake shock. "You pick Robbie over your brother and boyfriend?"

I shrugged. "You guys would be the obvious choice."

"For good reason!" Jared argued.

Laughing, I asked, "Are you jealous?"

"Of course not. I'm just worried for Jensen."

I grinned and kissed Jensen on the cheek. "He has nothing to worry about, Jare."

I started to turn away but Jensen pulled me back. His face was close and I looked back and forth between his eyes and his mouth. "I'm not worried." He leaned in for another kiss and the crowd continued to scream. Breaking away, he whispered, "Not at all." I grinned and jokingly pushed him away but he pulled me to his chest and kissed my forehead. Making sure to be quiet enough that the microphone wouldn't pick up his voice, he whispered, "Love you."

We left for our photo ops soon after the panel ended. Most of the fans there were girls but there still quite a few guys too. My line was much longer than I had expected but I was enjoying myself. I got to talk a little to each fan that came up and I couldn't get over how sweet they were.

Over halfway through, my smile faltered as my heart stopped. "Josh?"

He smiled and walked up to me for his picture. "Hey, Kate. I haven't seen you in forever. I missed you so I just had to come and see you."

I tried to be polite but I was just really uncomfortable. I didn't want to cause a scene though, so I was going to take a picture with him anyway.

He pulled me close and I faked a smile for the picture. When I tried to pull away, he jerked me back and kissed me. I tried to back away but he held tight and forced his tongue into my mouth. He moaned against my lips as I fought against him. Angry, I bit down on his tongue and as soon as his lips left mine, I brought my knee up to his groin. I felt someone pull me back as Josh doubled over and Cliff tackled him to the ground. The fans in line stared wide-eyed at the scene before them and I turned away from them, trying to hide my tears. Gentle hands started leading me away into a back room and I was vaguely aware of someone whispering in my ear. My legs were weak and if someone hadn't been holding me up, I would have collapsed. My heart was racing and I was struggling to breathe. My hand went to my chest in response to the intense pressure I felt there, drawing more attention to the difficulty of each breath.

"Kate? Sweetheart?" I blinked. I was sitting on a bench and Jensen was kneeling in front of me, his hands cupping my face. Taking in a shaky breath, I reached up to touch his hand as another tear rolled down my cheek. He wiped the tear away with his thumb and sat next to me on the bench before pulling my trembling body onto his lap. He held my head to his chest and I clutched at his shirt, squeezing my eyes shut and choking back a sob. "It's okay. I've got you."

I don't know how long we stayed like that before we were approached. "He's been escorted off of the property."

I jumped at the unfamiliar voice and Jensen tightened his arms around me. Jensen murmured, "thank you," and the man left us alone once again. Eventually, I slid off his lap and he stood next to me. I tried to start walking but stumbled. Jensen's arms reached out quickly to hold me up.

"Whoa, take it easy." I reached a hand up to my head and closed my eyes. "You dizzy?" I nodded slowly and Jensen sat me back down on the bench. I leaned against him and opened my eyes to see Jared walking in.

He knelt down and whispered, "Hey, Katie. How you feeling?"

I looked up at him with red, swollen eyes but didn't speak. Jensen looked down at me and rubbed up and down my arm, comfortingly. "We're still a little dizzy. Right, sweetheart?" I nodded slightly before burying my face into the crook of his neck. He rubbed circles onto my back as he swayed back and forth.

Once I could stand by myself and managed to convince Jared and Jensen that I was okay, we went to finish our photo ops. There weren't many people left so I figured it wouldn't be too hard. I finished about 30 minutes later and Cliff took me to the green room to wait for the boys to finish. Once they were done, they both insisted I see a doctor. I argued with them but eventually, they wore me down. Three hours later, I was back in Jensen's hotel room with a new bottle of pills, praying for just a little bit of normalcy as I fell asleep in my boyfriend's arms.


	13. Back to Vancouver

"I don't know, Jensen." I sat on the hotel bed while my boyfriend pulled a shirt on. He turned and saw me sitting with my knees held up to my chest, body shaking slightly.

He sighed and sat down on the bed, pulling me close. "Sweetheart, everything is going to be okay. Cliff will be with you all day and security is on high alert. He's not gonna get near you." I looked down and bit my lip. "You don't have any panels or meet and greets to worry about, either. You can stay in the green room the whole time, if you want. I just don't want you here alone, okay?"

I nodded and he pressed a kiss to the top of my head before standing up to continue getting ready. He paused on his way across the room, turning to toss one of his flannels to me. I slipped it on over my tank top and waited for him to finish getting ready.

We were quickly escorted to the green room, where I would be spending the entire day. I was not looking forward to it. Sure, Cliff would be with me and the boys would be in and out, but I just didn't want to be there. I wanted to wrap myself in a blanket and hide away for a while.

* * *

Jared and Jensen left for their first panel and I sat on the couch with Rob. It wasn't long before we were swapping stories. He told me all about the pranks Rich had played on him and I shared stories about growing up with Jared. I told him that even though Jared was a nerd, he had always enjoyed a good prank. He may have been insanely protective of me, but that didn't save me from being the victim of his jokes.

Rob and I laughed and joked with each other until he had to leave for a panel and someone else took his place. I knew there must have been some agreement to keep an eye on me because even though Cliff was there, someone was sitting with me the whole day. Jensen and Jared were there whenever they could be but Rob, Misha, Rich, and Osric all took shifts watching me. It was unnecessary but I didn't say anything. I enjoyed their company and figured it wouldn't do any harm. At the very least, they kept me distracted.

I tired fairly quickly, however, and ended up falling asleep next to Misha in the middle of one of his stories. He had his feet propped up on the table and was facing forward, talking about one of the many pranks the boys pulled on him but stopped when he felt my head hit his shoulder. I just couldn't keep my eyes open anymore. I heard him chuckle softly and then I was out.

* * *

I woke up with my head in someone's lap and I rubbed my eyes before looking up at them. "Hey sleeping beauty." Jensen smiled down at me as I yawned.

"Hey." I sat up and looked around. "Where's Jared?"

"He's finishing up the last of his photo ops. As soon as he's done, we'll go back to the hotel to grab our stuff and head back to Vancouver." I sighed and leaned against him, waiting for Jared to get back. He walked into the green room about 15 minutes later and it didn't take too long before we were on our way back to Vancouver to resume filming.


	14. Is that all you've got?

_I stumbled back, breathing heavily. Dean surged forward and tackled me to the floor. I struggled against him, trying to gain the advantage and failing. He held my arms to the ground above my head and I wiggled underneath him before sighing and giving up. "C'mon Lacey. Is that all you've got?"_

" _I'm tired and hungry," I whined._

" _Okay. Well if you can get up, I'll make you some lunch." He smirked down at me and I rolled my eyes, still panting from the workout._

" _C'mon. You wouldn't let me starve now would you?"_

" _All you have to do is get out of this hold." I groaned but slammed my knees against him, causing him to fall forward and lose his balance so I could flip him over. Straddling him, I smiled as he looked up at me in shock. I rested my hands on his chest before pushing against him to stand._

" _C'mon Winchester. It's lunchtime."_

"Cut!" I turned around and walked back to Jensen, holding my hand out to help him up. "Great job, guys. There's someone here who wants to interview the both of you but after that, you can take a break."

The interview was going well until the reporter decided to ask about the incident at the convention a few weeks before. I froze before feeling Jensen's hand on my lower back. He successfully avoided the question and we continued the interview. Jensen did most of the talking for the remainder of the interview though, having noticed that I was distracted.

Eventually, the interview was over and I felt Jensen lead me to the food trailers for dinner. I filled up my plate, not really paying attention to what I was doing. We sat down and I could feel his eyes on me as I pushed food around on my plate.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Really? Because you won't look at me and you aren't eating anything and you just put strawberries on your plate." I looked down at my plate and grimaced. Picking up my plate, I held it next to Jensen's and pushed the sorry excuse for fruit onto his plate with a fork, refusing to touch them. Jensen sighed. "C'mon babe. Talk to me."

"I just…I don't know. I was feeling better with the medicine and being back at work but then she brought up Josh and I just…I don't want to think about it anymore."

"Okay, but if you ever wanna talk about it—"

"You'll be the first to know."

Later that night, I curled up in my bed at Jared's house, struggling to fall asleep. I groaned, pushing the covers away and slipping out of bed. I wrapped a blanket around myself and quietly walked across the house, careful to not wake Jared. Shutting the front door behind me, I sat down on the porch. Feeling the bite of cold air on my bare feet and legs, I pulled my knees up to my chest and pulled the blanket tighter around myself.

A few minutes later, I leaned my head against the wall and closed my eyes. I heard a rustling coming from a bush a few feet away and my eyes flew open. I sighed, thinking it was probably some paparazzi trying to get pictures. Standing, I turned to grab the door handle but felt arms surround me, causing me to jump. An arm wrapped around my waist and a hand covered my mouth. I tried to scream anyway but the sound was muffled. I jerked in his arms, struggling to break free but he was too strong. Tears were pouring down my face as I fought with every ounce of strength I had but it just wasn't enough. _I'm gonna die._

My eyes widened at my realization and I took in a sharp breath. _No. Not yet. I'm not ready. Please! I don't wanna die!_

Suddenly, Dean's words from earlier invaded my head. _Is that all you've got?_ No. I fought back, harder than before, harder than I thought I could.

He tried to drag me off the porch and I reached out to find something, anything to grab onto. I managed to grasp onto the banister of the stairs and held on desperately as the man tried to pull me away. Finally, he dropped me and I tried to scramble away from him, not thinking to look at him and focusing only on getting away. I opened my mouth to scream for Jared but the stranger was too quick. He grabbed me by the hair and slammed my head into the wall violently. My body went slack and my vision blurred before going completely dark.


	15. Home

_Ugh, my head hurts._ I groaned and opened my eyes. I tried to lift my sore arms to rub my eyes and clear my vision but I felt resistance. Confused, I waited impatiently for my vision to clear. Looking around, I felt my heart pounding in my chest and tried to steady my breathing. I was tied to a chair, my arms forced uncomfortably behind me with rope. The room was dark and looked like an old basement. _Where am I?_ I fought against my restraints, the rope rubbing against my wrists painfully.

My eyes widened and I froze when I heard footsteps coming down the stairs. _No, no, no, no, no. What's happening?_

"Ah. You're awake. That last session seemed to take a lot out of you."

I furrowed my brows in confusion. _Last session? What is he talking about? Where am I?_

I looked more closely at the stranger before recognizing who was standing before me. "Josh?" I croaked. "What's going on? Where are we?"

"You don't remember? You've been here for months. Man, I must have hit you upside the head a bit harder than I thought." I gaped and Josh stepped closer, chuckling to himself. He slipped something out of his pocket and walked behind me. His fingers traced over my bare shoulders and my skin crawled as my stomach turned. Returning to stand in front of me, I saw what he was holding in his hand: a lighter. What did he need that for? "You never remember me." He brought his face closer to mine so that our noses were almost touching. I saw a flame appear out of the corner of my eye and I turned my head to look at it. "HEY!" Josh screamed as he slapped me. I forced myself to look back at him. Tears had formed in my eyes and my cheek stung painfully. "See? This is what you always do," he paused for a moment before bringing the lighter to my arm. I screamed out and pulled against the restraints. "You just stick me on the back-burner, Kate."

* * *

Jared sat with his head in his hands, waiting for an officer to come talk to him about his sister. When he went to wake Kate up and she wasn't in her room, he searched the whole house for her. When he found her phone and a blanket out on the porch along with blood smeared on the wood, he immediately called the police in a panic. They were currently checking the footage from his security camera to find out what had happened to Kate.

Soon, he was escorted into a small room. An officer slid a picture across the table and Jared examined it carefully. Tears filled his eyes when he saw his baby sister curled up on the ground in front of the stranger. "Do you recognize him?"

Jared cleared his throat and shook his head. "No, but her boyfriend might. Katie was being harassed by a former coworker. I never saw his face but Jensen did."

* * *

Tears were flowing quickly down my face now and I lowered my head to stare at my blood-covered lap. Josh grabbed me by the hair, jerking my head back so he could look me in the eyes. "None of this would have happened if you had just listened to me. This is all your fault and you deserve far worse than what I'm going to do to you. You're so mean to me, you know? I just wanted to spend time with you. You should be grateful I want anything to do with you. Your family sure doesn't."

I clenched my jaw and glared at him. "Liar."

"Oh I'm not lying. I almost wish I was though. It's just so sad. You've been gone for months and they've barely even noticed. They aren't looking for you, Kate. They don't care. You're worthless, a burden. They're glad you're gone."

I shook my head as my body trembled. "You're lying! They would never abandon me. Jared and Jensen—"

Josh sighed. "Jensen, right. You say his name in your sleep, you know? So pathetic. He doesn't care about you at all. He's already moved on to some other girl."

In that moment, just that single moment, my anger overcame my fear. I spit at him and immediately regretted it when he backhanded me. He glared at me and wiped off his face angrily.

"So rude. Always so rude" he whispered. He paused before continuing at a higher volume. "I even went to visit you at that convention a few weeks ago. And what did you do? Oh, that's right. You attacked me and had security throw me out…none too gently, I might add. I just wanted to love you and you threw it all back in my face!" I flinched away as he screamed in my face.

He turned away from me and I took in a shaky breath, trying not to cry. My mind was in chaos. All my thoughts were blurring together, running at 90 mph. _Is he right? What do I do? Where am I? Why is this happening? This can't be real. Am I going to die here? Where are Jared and Jensen? I want my brother! Somebody help, please!_

Josh picked up his already bloody knife and started towards me again. "You know, white is a lovely color but I don't think it suits you very well." He gestured towards my tank top and smirked before raising his knife to my collarbone. My eyes widened in fear and my breath caught in my throat. He sliced through my skin and I started to sob, breaking right in front of him as blood soaked my shirt. "See? That's better. You always looked good in red."

* * *

Jensen frowned down at the photograph and clenched his fists. "That's him. That's Josh." Jensen gave the officer all the information he had on Josh including where he worked before leaving the room. Jared looked up when Jensen walked back over to him.

"Do you think they'll find her, J?"

Both men were holding back tears and Jensen tried to keep his voice even." Yeah, Jared. They have to."

* * *

Josh knelt down in front of me, a cruel grin on his face. "Oh no. You've ruined your pretty white shirt." He stared at me, smiling wider when he saw me trembling. "It's okay, though. I'll take care of it." He held up his knife, once again, and slowly cut through my tank top, exposing my bra. My heart was pounding so hard that I could _hear_ my blood rushing through my body. More tears fell as I let my head drop, horrified and humiliated. Josh started tracing the blade right above my bra and I froze, terrified of this man. No, this monster.

"Stop," I breathed.

"What was that?"

"Stop," I repeated, a little louder this time. He chuckled and used his knife to raise my chin so that I was looking him in the eyes.

"Stop? This will never stop, Kate. You're here to stay."

Gathering my courage, I asked, "Here? Where is here? Where are we, Josh? Where am I?"

"Oh, Kate, my sweet, sweet girl. You're home."


	16. Missing

"What do you mean there's no new information? It's been three days!"

"Sir, you need to calm down. We'll let you know when we find something out."

"I'll calm down when I know my sister is okay!"

"Sir. I'm sorry but you should prepare yourself for the possibility that she won't be found."

* * *

I learned fairly quickly not to talk back to Josh. I tried to hold in the screams and sobs but the pain was just too much. "You think this hurts? This is nothing compared to what you did to me. This is your fault." I stayed still, staring at my lap, refusing to respond. He angrily jerked my head up by the hair and yelled "Look at me when I'm talking to you!" I obeyed, my lower lip trembling.

Keeping his grip on my hair, he placed one hand on my bare shoulder. Tears fell as his hand travelled down and he pressed his lips to mine. I struggled against him as his tongue tried to gain access to my mouth but he obviously had the advantage. His hand wandered down to my hip and he slipped his thumb under the waistband of my shorts. I screamed into his mouth and fought against him. Jerking my head back, his lips trailed down my neck and below my collarbone. When he brought his lips back to mine, I bit down on his lip, drawing blood. He jolted back and scowled at me.

* * *

"Breaking News: Supernatural star, Kate Padalecki has been reported missing. She was taken a few nights ago from her brother's Vancouver home. The suspect is her former coworker, Josh Miller. Miller is to be considered armed and dangerous. Do not approach but please call the Vancouver Police Department if you have any information on the location of Kate or her kidnapper."

* * *

Josh left soon after paying me back for biting him. Tired and afraid, I couldn't do anything but sob and pray for it to end soon. _I can't do this anymore. Please make it stop._

* * *

When I woke up, Josh still hadn't returned. My vision blurred and I couldn't hold my head up any longer. My breathing felt labored and I soon grew lightheaded. I vaguely realized that I had lost too much blood. I was sweating slightly and suddenly felt like everything was too close, too loud. Fading in and out of consciousness, I sat still, too weary to move. I managed to shake my head slightly, trying to clear my mind.

 _Where is he? Why hasn't he come back yet?_

* * *

I shivered. _Why is it so cold? I felt so hot before._ I tried to look around the room but had to stop, squeezing my eyes shut and fighting against the nausea. Everything was just so fuzzy.

* * *

 _What's that noise? Ugh, and why do my ears feel funny?_ The sound grew louder and I cringed. _Make it stop!_ I felt a tear roll down my cheek as the noise continued. _My head hurts. It hurts so bad. Please. Please make it stop. I just want it to stop._

* * *

Josh still hadn't come back. I was beginning to worry that I would be stuck there alone forever. _Maybe he was right. Maybe no one is coming for me._

* * *

My head was still throbbing and my eyes couldn't focus on anything. _I don't even know how long it's been anymore._

I heard footsteps from upstairs and I took in a shaky breath. _He's back._ I started crying silently, thinking about what he was going to do to me next. Squeezing my eyes shut, I trembled in fear of what was to come. And that was when the door busted in.


	17. Wells

He slowly started down the stairs and I whimpered. My vision was still blurry but I saw him move around the room before turning to me. "Kate?" He turned away and shouted up the stairs "I found her!" He knelt down in front of me and I shrunk back. "Hey, I'm not gonna hurt you. I'm gonna get you out of here, okay?" He cut through the ropes that bound my wrists and ankles. He reached towards me and I flinched away. I moved my arms up to cover my chest and whimpered at the pain it caused. "Kate. I'm not going to hurt you. I promise." I shrunk away from him anyway and others started coming down the stairs. _What's going on?_

"Kate, I need you to look at me." I turned my head and struggled to focus on him.

"Who are you?" I whispered.

"I'm Officer Wells. Your brother sent me to come get you."

"Jared?"

"That's right. He's been worried about you. Would you like me to take you to go see him?" I nodded slowly, my eyes filled with tears. _I get to go home?_

"I'm going to have to pick you up. Is that okay?" I nodded again and he put his jacket over my shoulders. Gently, he picked me up and started to carry me up the stairs. I held onto his shirt and buried my face against his chest, trying to hide from the others.

* * *

When the ambulance arrived, Officer Wells tried to hand Kate off to the paramedics but she clutched at his shirt and stared at him with panic obvious in her eyes. "It's okay. They're not going to hurt you. They're going to take you to see your brother."

She shook her head. "Don't leave. Please." Her voice sounded so scared, so broken. He couldn't refuse her request so he climbed in next to her and rode with her on the way to the hospital.

He never stopped talking to her, trying to relax her slightly. He was able to keep his voice calm and soothing despite his anger towards the man that did this to her. When he found her, her shirt was bloody and torn, exposing her bra. Her eyes were red and glazed over. She also had dried blood in her hair and covering much of the rest of her body. Deep purple bruises had already formed on her arms and legs and she was trembling in the chair she had been tied to. He had been a cop for seven years but he had never seen anything like this. At least, not with the victim surviving.

When they arrived at the hospital, Officer Wells sat with her as doctors went through their examinations. Another officer came in to ask Kate questions but he sent him away saying, "Give her a few hours to rest. She's been through a lot. You can ask your questions later." Kate had been grateful for that.

"When is Jared gonna get here?"

"He's on his way. Why don't you lay down and get some rest before he gets here?" Kate frowned at that. She liked Officer Wells but she wanted to see someone she knew, someone familiar. She gave in, however, far too tired to stay awake any longer.


	18. He Lied

Kate jerked awake and lurched up in the hospital bed, gasping when a jolt of pain shot through her. Jared, who had arrived shortly before, reached out to hold her hand and calm her down. She turned towards him sharply and seeing her brother, broke down in tears. Jared gently wrapped his arms around her, afraid to hurt her. He had been so relieved to find out she was still alive but when he saw the state she was in, he had been horrified.

"It's okay, Katie. I've got you." He pressed a kiss to the top of her head as she sobbed into his chest.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," she blubbered against him.

"What? Kate, why are you sorry?" He questioned, confusion evident in his voice.

Kate shook her head as more tears fell. "My fault. All my fault. I'm sorry. So sorry." Jared looked at her in shock before lifting her chin so he could look her in the eyes. She flinched away and whimpered slightly. His eyes widened at her reaction and he looked at her sadly as he took her hand.

"Hey," he whispered. "None of this is your fault. None of it." Kate bit her lip, unsure, and Jared pulled her closer. "I'm just glad you're safe. That was the longest three days of my life." Kate froze and looked at her brother with confusion.

"Three days?"

Jared frowned. "Yeah. That's how long you were gone."

Kate leaned away from him and shook her head. "No. That can't be. He said…he told me it had been months. He said—"

"He lied. Everything he told you was a lie, Katie."

"But—" Kate was interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Ms. Padalecki, how are you feeling?" A nurse walked into the room, clipboard in hand.

"I uh…I'm pretty tired. A little sore."

"How would you rate the pain?"

"Um. A six, I think." Jared squeezed her hand gently.

"Okay. We'll go ahead and have you take some pain-killers and then you should try to get a little more rest."

* * *

The nurse took a few minutes to check my vitals and give me some pills and then she left us alone again. I rested my head against the pillow and stared up at the ceiling. "You should try to sleep a little more."

I ignored my brother, still looking up. "Is—" I hesitated before continuing. "Is Jensen coming?" I asked, my voice hushed.

"Yeah. Of course he's coming. He just wanted to pick up a few things for you. He'll probably be here by the time you wake up." I nodded but didn't close my eyes.

 _He lied. It was only three days. Everything Josh said was a lie. They_ _ **were**_ _looking for me. Jared is here, Jensen is coming, and I get to go home. I'm okay as long as they're with me._

"What's wrong?"

I finally turned my head towards him. "Will you stay with me?"

"Yeah. Yeah, of course. I'll be right here the whole time."

* * *

While Kate slept, Jared let the others know that she was safe. Jensen and Gen already knew, of course, but he hadn't told the rest of the cast yet. They all responded with relief, asking if they could come to visit her in the hospital. "I'm not sure yet. She's resting right now but I'll let you know if she feels up to it tomorrow."

After talking to their friends, Jared sent out a quick tweet to let the fans know about Kate.

 _"A huge thank you to Vancouver PD for bringing my sister back. Katie is resting now but should be able to go home in a few days."_

Jared heard Kate take in a sharp breath and turned back to her, thinking she had woken up. Her face scrunched up before her breathing returned to normal and she relaxed back onto the bed. She moved slightly and her hair covered her face almost completely. Smiling, Jared moved her hair back out of her face and behind her ear. He ran his fingers gently through her hair for a moment and she smiled, leaning into his hand before reaching for it in her sleep. Jared laced his fingers with hers and brought her hand to his lips. Sighing and bowing his head, he whispered, "I'm so glad you're safe."

* * *

I took a deep breath and opened my eyes slowly. I looked around the room and frowned. Jared had kept his word and stayed with me but I was disappointed that Jensen wasn't there yet. "Hey, how are you feeling? Are you hungry?" My stomach turned at the thought of food.

"Where's Jensen?" I asked, bypassing his questions.

"Right here, sweetheart." Jensen walked into the room and I automatically reached out for him. He set down a duffle bag and leaned in to kiss my forehead. When he tried to pull away, I stopped him. I was still weak but he felt my hand on the back of his neck, trying to pull him back to me. Knowing exactly what I wanted, he gently pressed his lips to mine. I sighed and relaxed back against my pillow when he pulled away.

"You hungry?" I shook my head and he raised his eyebrows.

"I'm kinda nauseous right now," I answered his silent question.

"You should really try to eat something. Do you think you could stomach some crackers?" I bit my lip but nodded and he turned to leave.

"Jensen?"

"Yeah?"

"The little cheese ones with peanut butter in the middle?" I requested shyly.

He chuckled and went over to the duffle, pulling out exactly what I wanted. I stared at him, surprised that he had already guessed what I would want. Jensen grinned. "I know you, sweetheart. These are practically the only things you'll eat when you feel sick." He opened the package and set it on my lap, sitting down next to Jared, who had been silently watching the two of us with a small smile.

I was able to eat about half of the crackers before I handed them back to Jensen. He set them on a nearby table and helped me sit up to drink some water. Even though I had only been awake for an hour, I grew tired soon after eating. I struggled to keep my eyes open and Jensen took my hand to kiss my knuckles. "Get some rest, sweetheart. We'll be right here when you wake up."

I shook my head at him and pulled my hand away. I tried to move to make room for him on the bed but he stopped me. "Hey, hey, hey. Don't hurt yourself. What do you want?" I patted the spot next to me, giving him the best puppy dog eyes I could manage. He smirked down at me but gave in. He carefully helped me move and then he slid into the small bed with me. I rested my head on his chest and he loosely wrapped his arms around me, careful to not hurt me. I pressed myself as close to him as possible before he kissed the top of my head and I closed my eyes, falling asleep soon after.


	19. The Lizard Thinks I'm Pretty

I pushed my face against Jensen's chest and whimpered softly, my whole body aching. Instantly, I felt his hand in my hair. "Katie?" I sucked in a breath, feeling a sharp pain in my chest. "What's wrong?"

"Hurts."

"What hurts?"

"Everything," I whispered. Jensen slipped out of the hospital bed and I frowned. "Where are you going?"

"Getting a nurse so you can take some more painkillers." I looked around, noticing my brother was missing.

"Where's Jared?"

"Your parents called. He's talking to them outside." Jensen brushed the hair out of my face before kissing my forehead. "I'll be right back. Promise."

* * *

Jensen returned quickly with my nurse in tow. He sat down next to me and took my hand as the nurse asked me various questions. How would you rate the pain? Do you feel nauseous? Dizzy?

Eventually, she gave me some medication. She actually gave me more than they did before because the pain was so bad, warning me that I might feel a little loopy with the increased dose.

The nurse left and Jared slipped into the room, phone pressed to his ear. "Hey, Kate. Mom and dad called. They wanna talk to you if you're feeling up to it." He looked unsure but I reached out for the phone, knowing my parents had to be freaking out.

"Hey," I whispered, my head still hurting.

"Hey, baby girl. How are you feeling?" I smiled. It had been a while since I had heard my dad's voice.

"Well they just gave me some more painkillers so give me a few minutes and I'll probably be feeling _real_ good." He chuckled but my mom didn't find it as funny. The worry in her voice was obvious.

"Honey, make sure you're careful with those. I don't want you to get addicted." I rolled my eyes.

"Don't worry, mom. The boys will keep me in line."

"She'll be fine, Sharon. Jared is with her and I'm sure Jensen is joined to her hip as well." I chuckled at just how right my father was. We talked for a little while longer before they caught on to how tired I was. "Well honey, we'll let you go so you can get some more rest. Make sure you call Jeff and Megan sometime. They're worried about you too. Love you, Katie."

* * *

"Ms. Padalecki?"

"Yes?"

"I'm Officer Johnson. I'm here to ask you a few questions about Mr. Miller." I took a deep breath and felt Jensen's grip tighten on my hand, letting me know he was there.

"Alright. What do you want to know?"

"What was your relationship with Mr. Miller before he kidnapped you?"

"He was my former coworker."

"And did you get along at work?"

"He was…. strange. He uh. He always wanted to spend time together outside of work. At first it was just a minor nuisance but he started getting angry when I said no. After I moved to Vancouver, I didn't think much of it until he showed up to a convention."

"Where you assaulted Mr. Miller."

My eyes widened and Jensen spoke. "Excuse me?"

I clenched my free fist and the officer kept his eyes on me. "Where he assaulted me. There are multiple witness accounts of that, Mr. Johnson."

"Could you have done anything to provoke these actions from Mr. Miller?"

My jaw dropped and Jared spoke up. "What are you insinuating?" I looked over to my brother, who was struggling to keep his composure.

"It just seems unlikely that someone would go through this much effort to—"

"Get out," I interrupted him, not wanting to hear what he had to say.

"I'm not done. You still have more questions to answer. If you don't cooperate—"

"If Vancouver PD has any further questions for me, they can send Officer Wells to ask them."

"Ma'am—"

"I believe she asked you to leave." I looked up to see Cliff standing in the doorway.

Officer Johnson turned, frustrated. "And you are?"

"None of your concern. Now, I'm sure Kate is tired. She needs to rest. You don't have to be a doctor to see that." Johnson scowled before leaving the room.

I sighed in relief and relaxed against the pillow behind me. "Thanks Cliffy." I reached an arm out and he bent down to hug me.

"Anything for you sweetheart." He kissed my forehead before sitting down next to the boys.

* * *

It wasn't long before Misha showed up, bringing daisies with him. I had never seen flowers so beautiful. The daisies were a variety of colors, ranging from green to pink to blue. "Misha! They're lovely! Thank you." I pulled him in for a hug before hearing a knock at the door and seeing Rob, Rich, and Osric walk in.

"Did you start the party without us?" Rich questioned in mock horror.

"Maybe you should have gotten here earlier?" Misha replied.  
"You got here 3 minutes ago." I smirked.

"But still before them. Which means I love you more."

* * *

"Jensen? Can I get one of those lizard drinks? The ones that compliment you like the chocolate with birds on them?" Jensen, stood, knowing exactly what Kate wanted but everyone else stared at her, confused. Jensen ignored them and removed the cap from the SOBE bottle before handing both over to his girlfriend. She bit her lip, smiling slightly as she read the words on the inside of the bottle cap.

"How in the world did you know what she was talking about?" Osric questioned, genuinely curious.

"He's my prophet. The prophet of the Katie tablet. He can read me when no one else can." Kate giggled. The nurse probably shouldn't have given her an increased dose of painkillers.

Jensen smoothed her hair back and smiled. "Its her favorite drink. The bottle has a lizard on it and there are funny little things on the cap."

"And the bird chocolate?" Rob asked.

"Dove chocolate. They have little sayings on the wrappers."

"J, the lizard thinks I'm pretty. Do you think I'm pretty?" Jensen slipped into the hospital bed with her and kissed her forehead.

"Absolutely gorgeous, sweetheart."

Jared grinned, watching his best friend and his little sister. Richard, meanwhile, pulled out his phone and snapped a quick picture of the two, promptly tweeting it.

 _How long 'til you think JensenAckles gets in trouble for being in bed with KatePadalecki at the hospital?_

The couple's phones both buzzed and they glanced at the side table before turning to a grinning Richard Speight Jr. "What did you do?"

Rich turned his phone so they could see the tweet and Kate burst out into a fit of giggles. "I don't care how much they yell. I like him here. He's comfy." Jensen chuckled.

"Is that all you keep me around for?" He joked.

"Well, you're pretty too. And your eyes are magic." Kate's eyes closed and she felt the rumbling of Jensen's chest as he laughed.

* * *

When she opened her eyes, only Jensen and Jared were in the room with her. "Did they leave?"

Jensen looked down at her, smiling at her sleepy voice. "Yeah. They wanted to let you rest. Misha left this for you though."

"A picture of a unicorn?" Kate furrowed her brows, confused.

Jared chuckled. "You were talking in your sleep. Something about riding a unicorn. Rob, Os, and Rich drew some too. They may have had a contest. Misha won."

"Of course he did." She smiled. "Can I see the others?" Jared passed the pictures over to her and she bit her lip to keep herself from laughing. As soon as she saw Rob's drawing though, she cracked. It looked like Robbie had missed the memo and drawn a pink, one horned, three legged, giraffe instead of a unicorn. It was obvious he had tried but there was a reason he was an actor and not making millions by selling his artwork to wealthy collectors. Richard, on the other hand, hadn't even tried to be serious. His unicorn, although very colorful, had a beard. Not just any kind of beard. A full on, Duck Dynasty beard.

Kate moved on to Osric's picture and her eyes widened in shock. His unicorn was nearly perfect. The body was white but the mane and tail were rainbow colored. Its legs were strong and muscled, full of detail. The unicorn looked majestic. Except for its head. Osric had, for some reason, decided to draw a bright yellow smiley face, complete with a single horn projecting from the middle of its forehead.

Kate dropped her head, her shoulders shaking as she laughed and tears streamed down her face. Jared and Jensen watched her, amused by her reaction to the drawings. They were overjoyed to see her laugh. When she had gone missing, they hadn't been sure they'd ever get to hear that beautiful sound again. They had come so close to losing her and seeing her in pain hurt both of them. To hear her giggle and see her shoulders shaking from laughter instead of sobs made them grin. Neither of them could take their eyes off of her.


	20. Safe

Kate had to stay in the hospital for a few more days before her doctor cleared her to be discharged. Either Jared or Jensen was with her at all times and she had several visitors to keep her company as well. Officer Wells came to finish questioning because Kate refused to speak to the other officer. Wells was much kinder in his questioning and the boys stayed with her the whole time. Kate answered most of his questions easily until he brought up the state she had been found in. "I'm sorry. I know this is difficult but we need to know for the police report. Did Mr. Miller sexually assault you in any way?"

Kate took in a sharp breath and froze. Jensen clenched his jaw but made no move towards his girlfriend. Jared took her hand and she turned towards him with tears in her eyes. Jared looked at her, concern written all over his face, masking the anger he felt. "Katie, did he?"

"Yes," she choked out before breaking down into sobs. Jared gently pulled her into his arms and she buried her face in his shirt. He rocked her and kissed her hair, trying to sooth her. With Jared's shirt clenched in her fist, she peaked up over his shoulder to see Jensen with his head in his hands. After a moment, he sighed and stood, walking out with Officer Wells. Her heart clenched and she felt her brother's grip tighten.

Her sobs subsided but Jensen still had not returned. She rested against Jared's chest.  
"How far did he—?" Jared broke off, unsure if he should ask.

"He tried to—" She paused to take a calming breath. "I stopped him. I bit him. It was the only thing I really could do. I was so scared, Jared." Tears formed again and her voice broke.

"I know, Katie. I know. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't there to protect you. But you're safe now. You're a fighter and you are so, so strong. And we aren't going to let him touch you ever again."

Kate was silent and Jensen walked back into the room. He sat down and Kate watched him. Jensen's eyes were on the floor and he looked angry. Kate bit her lip. "Jensen, are you mad at me?" He looked up, shocked.

"What? Of course not. Why would you think that?"

"You left right after…and now you're sitting across the room. You will hardly even look at me. I'm sorry. I didn't want Josh to—"

"Kate," he interrupted. "I'm not mad at you. You didn't do anything wrong. Understand?" She bit her lip again, unsure. "I love you, Kate. I love you so much. I went crazy while you were gone. I'm not angry with you. I thought I was going to lose you. And what he did to you…I want to hold you and never let go. But I don't want to remind you of…I didn't want to scare you. "

"Jensen, you make me feel safe, never scared." Kate took a breath, trying to keep the tears at bay. "Will you hold me? Please?" Jared backed away and Jensen approached slowly before sliding into the hospital bed and gently pulling her into his arms.

* * *

Kate spent most of the rest of the day cuddling with Jensen. Her doctor came in to look her over one last time before giving her the all clear. He raised his eyebrow, seeing Jensen in the bed with Kate, but didn't say anything about it. Once the discharge papers were signed, Kate went into the adjoining bathroom to change into the clothes Jensen had brought for her. She slowly slid into the sweatpants and pulled on her hoodie, grateful that Jensen brought her loose, comfortable clothing to change into. She wouldn't be wearing jeans for a few days, wishing to avoid unnecessary friction with the cuts and bruises on her legs. Kate stepped back into her hospital room where Jared, Jensen, and Cliff were waiting for her. "Ready to go home?" Jared asked. Kate smiled, nodding eagerly.

Jensen put his hand on her lower back, leading her out of the room while Jared picked up her bag and followed. Kate slid her sunglasses over her eyes and walked outside with Cliff leading the way, parting the crowd of paparazzi. Kate's eyes widened, surprised that there were so many waiting for them to leave the hospital. Jensen felt her tense and looked down at her before whispering in her ear. "You good?" She took a deep breath and nodded. Jensen looked around at the crowd snapping pictures and pulled Kate closer, kissing the top of her head. She relaxed a bit and Jensen helped her into the car.

Cliff drove Kate and Jared back home while Jensen got into his own car, promising Kate that he would come by to see her tomorrow. Cliff pulled into the driveway and Jared jumped out to throw Kate's duffle bag over his shoulder. She slowly climbed out of the car and took her brother's outstretched hand. She was shaking slightly, nervous about being back. While she was in the hospital, she had been excited at the thought of going home but once she was standing in front of the house, staring at the porch she had been attacked on, she wasn't so sure she wanted to be there. Her mind went back to the night she had been kidnapped. The memories were so vivid, Kate stopped in her tracks, lost inside her own head. Jared felt her stop and turned to look back at her.

"Kate? You okay?" Jared's voice snapped her back to reality and she looked up, nodding slightly. Jared tightened his grip on her hand and gently led her into the house. He set her bag down and turned to her, a small smile on his face, happy that she was finally home. "So, what do you want for dinner?"

"I'm not very hungry." Jared's brows furrowed.

"Kate, you've eaten nothing but peanut butter crackers for the past few days. You should really eat something."

"Fine." Kate walked into the kitchen and tried to reach up into the cabinet.

"Kate, stop. You're going to hurt yourself." Jared led her to the kitchen table and she sat down, rolling her eyes. "Now what is it that you want?"

"I was just going to make a peanut butter sandwich."

"Well now you're going to watch me make a peanut butter sandwich." Jared pulled the bread and peanut butter out of the cabinet and after a few moments of silence, Kate sighed.

"You know, I'm not so useless that I can't make my own sandwich, Jared." Jared paused before finished the sandwich. He slowly walked over to the table and slid the plate in front of his sister before sitting down with her.

"I don't think you're useless, Katie. But, you're still recovering. You should take it easy for a few days while your body heals." Kate kept her eyes down and Jared stood, patting her gently on the head as he passed. "Eat up, kiddo."

* * *

A few hours later, Jared quietly opened Kate's door to check on her. He was relieved to see that she was asleep in bed instead of lying awake. Closing her door, he made his way to the couch in the living room, wanting to be close to Kate in case she needed anything. It took a lot of tossing and turning before he was finally comfortable on the small couch, but he finally fell asleep.

Jared managed to get a few hours of sleep before a terrified shriek woke him up. He threw the blanket off of his legs and jumped up, running to Kate's room. When he pushed the door open, he saw her fighting against her covers, eyes still closed. He crossed the room and reached out to her, whispering, "Kate, hey. Wake up." She fought harder against him and he had to pin her arms down to keep her from striking him. "Katie! Wake up. It's not real. You're safe now." Her eyes shot open and she continued fighting as she looked through him.

"Stop! Please!" She shouted with tears streaming down her face.

"Kate, it's me. It's Jared. Kate, look at me!" Kate jerked back but stopped fighting. Jared breathed out a sigh of relief and relaxed his grip on her arms. Kate took in a shaky breath and Jared smoothed her hair back out of her face. He sat down next to her and pulled her against his chest. "It's okay. I've got you. You're safe now." They stayed still for a while before Jared spoke again. "Do you want me to stay with you until you fall back to sleep?"

Shaking her head, she whispered, "I don't want to go back to sleep."

"Kate, you're body can't heal if you don't rest." She pushed him away, frowning.

"I'm an adult, Jared. Stop babying me."

"I'm not trying to do that. I'm just worried about you."

"Well maybe you should have protected me from Josh!" As soon as the words left her lips, Kate regretted them. She knew it wasn't his fault. She was just angry.

Jared flinched before standing up to leave. Pausing at the door, he spoke softly, "You're my little sister, Kate. I love you and I'm sorry I didn't stop him from hurting you. But I will not let him touch you again. I promise."

Jared walked back into the living room to grab his phone, immediately dialing Jensen's number.

"Jared? What's wrong?"

"It's Kate. She had a nightmare. A bad one. When she woke up, she kept fighting me. It was like she didn't recognize me. She just kept screaming, man. I don't know what to do. I tried to get her to go back to sleep but she just won't listen to me. I'm worried about her, J. I just don't know what to do. She doesn't even want me near her now. She's angry with me…for not stopping Josh."

Jensen sighed and Jared could hear rustling as Jensen got out of bed. "Give me twenty minutes. I'll try to talk to her."

"Thanks man."

"And Jared? None of this is your fault. She knows that. She's just scared and upset. Don't take what she said to heart. She didn't mean it."

* * *

Jensen arrived just under fifteen minutes later, breaking the speed limit to get there. He knocked on Kate's door and waited, fidgeting nervously. "Go away, Jared."

He peaked into the room. "It's not Jared."

"He called you," she said flatly. Jensen sat on the edge of the bed.

"You should really sleep, Katie."

"Can't." His eyes softened.

"What if I stay? Do you think you could sleep then?" She shook her head. "Babe, nothing can get to you when both of us here. We're not gonna let anyone hurt you."

"I can't, Jensen. You don't understand! I can't even close my eyes without seeing him. And being here, where it happened…I just can't." Kate was struggling to keep her tears at bay and Jensen took her hand, standing.

"Come on. Come with me." He waited patiently for her to stand.

"Where are we going?" She looked at him, confused.

"Wherever you want. We can just drive if you want. Get out of the house."

She stood, slowly. "Okay." Jensen led her through the house, telling Jared where they were going as they passed. He helped her into the car before backing out of the driveway.

"Where to?"

"Just take me away from here." Jensen turned the radio on low and Kate curled up against his side. They drove for hours, barely speaking, until Kate fell asleep. Jensen glanced down at her and smiled before turning the car around.

When he pulled into the driveway, it was just after 4 AM. He carefully got out of the car, pulling Kate with him. He picked her up and started walking to the house, leaving the car door open, afraid that the noise would wake her up. Jensen carried her into the house, somehow managing to open the door without jostling her too much. He laid her on the bed and covered her with blankets before going back outside to close the car door. On his way back in, he stopped in to Jared's room to let him know that they were back and Kate had actually fallen asleep. Walking back into Kate's room, he slipped off his shoes and carefully slid onto the bed, on top of the covers. Jensen wanted to be there for her if she woke up to another nightmare but he didn't want to frighten her by being too close. He just wanted to be there to calm her down if need be.

Jensen turned his head towards Kate, watching her chest rise and fall with each breath. His eyes moved up to her face, savoring how relaxed she seemed. Kate moved slightly, curling into herself, and causing her hair to cover her face. He tucked her hair back behind her ear and smiled. Her lips had curved upwards the instant he touched her. His eyes lingered on her mouth for a few more seconds before travelling to her closed eyes and long lashes. Her face was makeup-free and would probably continue to be until she went back to work. Kate hardly ever wore makeup, hating the way it felt on her skin. If she left the house, she would put on a bit of mascara but that was it. Even when she had to wear makeup for work or interviews, she didn't wear much. She only spent about five minutes more getting her makeup done on set than he did.

As he watched her, he felt the urge to wrap her up in his arms and breathe her in. He wanted to take her soft hands in his. He ached to hear her laugh and he craved the feeling of his lips on hers. She was beautiful. There was no denying that. But it was more than that. Kate was smart and kind. She was funny and strong. He loved her more than he had ever thought possible. She had so much love inside her heart and it never ceased to amaze him. She was incredibly kind and gentle but she was just as strong and resilient.

He had almost lost her. He never could have dreamed that he could worry so much for another person. He loved her and he wanted her to be happy. When she had gone missing, he was lost. The thought of her being hurt, being scared…that tore him apart.

Finally, Jensen couldn't take it anymore. He reached out and took Kate's hand in his, just so he could feel her touch. So he could know that she was there and she was okay. She was safe. He wouldn't hold her, just in case she woke up feeling trapped, but he needed reassurance. He needed her.


	21. What's Best For You

I took in a deep breath and opened my eyes to take in my surroundings. Last I remembered I was snuggled up against Jensen as he drove around Vancouver. I must have fallen asleep but…I didn't have any nightmares. I looked down at Jensen's hand in mine and bit my lip, shaking my head. Keeping hold of his hand, I rolled, placing my head on his chest and his arm around my shoulders. I tried to move my free hand to touch him but was blocked by the comforter. Furrowing my eyebrows, I noticed Jensen was lying on top of the covers. I tried to get closer to him, frustrated by the thick layers of fabric in the way, until I heard his voice, thick with sleep.

"What are you doing?" I sighed and flopped down against Jensen's chest.

"You're too far away." I felt his chest vibrate as he chuckled.

"I'm right here, babe."

"No, the blankets are in the way." I looked up at his face to look into his sleepy eyes. "Why aren't you under the covers with me, J?"

He sighed, looking up at the ceiling. "I wanted to be here with you in case you woke up but I wanted to give you your space too. I didn't want to scare you by being too close." I gently placed my hand on his cheek and kissed his stubble.

"Well, I'm awake now so…" I jerked on the blankets underneath him and he smiled, rolling his eyes, before moving so he was with me under the covers. I grinned and rolled on top of him, my legs hanging off either side of his body and my head still resting on his chest. He wrapped his arms around me and tucked my head under his chin.

"So, about last night." I sighed, not really wanting to talk about my reaction to the last nightmare.

"Is Jared mad?" Jensen leaned back to look at me, seeing the tears in my eyes.

"No. No, he's not mad. He is worried about you, though."

"I said something bad, J." Jensen stayed quiet so I continued, my voice cracking. "I blamed him for what happened with Josh. But it wasn't his fault. I don't know why I said that, J. I was just angry. And scared. I was just so scared. I didn't mean it, J."

"I know, sweetheart." Jensen rubbed my back. "He'll understand. You just have to be honest with us, okay? We don't know how you're feeling unless you tell us." I nodded against his chest.

"I don't want to be here, J. I love Jared…but I just can't be here."

"Would you feel better staying at my place for a few days?"

I nodded. "But Jared…"

"Jared wants what's best for you, sweetheart. If you feel safer at my place, he'll be fine with you staying there. He may come and sleep in my living room…" I giggled. "But he won't be mad."

"Okay."

"Now, I'm gonna go talk to Jared and get us some breakfast. You go ahead and start packing."

By the time Jensen came back with two bowls of cereal, Kate had already finished packing. He sat down on the floor next to her, leaning back against the bed. Kate, glancing down at the cereal, raised her eyebrows.

"Is that…Count Chocula?"

"Your brother thinks he's funny. It's the only cereal in the house. And I know you don't like anything heavy in the morning."

"Thanks." She paused and looked down, still nervous about Jared. "What did he say about uh—?"

"He's fine with it. As long as you're comfortable." Kate nodded, staring at her cereal. Jensen, noticing she hadn't taken a single bite yet, nudged her gently with his shoulder. "Eat up."

They ate in relative silence, brushing up against each other occasionally, both of them craving the other's touch. They sat still for a few minutes afterwards. Jensen knew Kate wanted to delay facing Jared and he let her, giving her some time to prepare herself. It wasn't too long, however, before Jensen stood and helped his girlfriend to her feet. Kate followed slowly, hiding slightly behind him when they entered the kitchen. She paused when she saw her brother sitting at the table with his morning coffee while Jensen made his way over to the dishwasher.

Kate's breath caught in her throat and Jared looked up, giving her a sad smile. "Hey," he whispered softly.

"Hi," she returned even more quietly, staring at the floor. She tried to look back up at him but her eyes filled with tears and she choked back a sob. Jared stood, crossing the room in two long strides and wrapping her up in a hug. Jensen, noticing Kate's distress, turned to see her clutching at Jared's shirt. He quickly busied himself with washing the dishes by hand instead of using the dishwasher.

"I'm sorry, Jare. I'm so sorry. I don't know why I said that."

"Shh, it's okay. It's okay."

"No, Jared. It's not. I never should have said that. You were just trying to help. I was just scared. I'm so scared. And it's not your fault. I love you but I just can't be here right now. I just can't."

"Hey, I get it. It's okay. You need to do what's best for you, Katie. I will never be mad at you for that." Jared pressed a kiss to her forehead and squeezed her impossibly tighter before letting go and running his hands up and down her arms. Kate looked up at her brother and took a deep breath before pushing up on her tiptoes and wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Love you."


	22. Too Much

By the time we finished unpacking things at Jensen's I was exhausted. "Why don't we just relax and watch a movie?" My boyfriend suggested. I nodded, rubbing my eyes as he led me to the couch. He put in my favorite movie and then allowed me to curl up against him, resting my head on his chest. I didn't make it twenty minutes into the movie before falling asleep. Jensen looked down and smiled before his gaze returned to the screen.

After a while, Jensen's stomach growled and he carefully moved me so I was lying on the couch and he could go to the kitchen. He grabbed some bread and ham for a sandwich, not knowing of my nightmare. While he was in the kitchen, I was back in that basement, struggling against Josh. But this time it was different. Josh was furious with me. I had finally gone too far. He was going to kill me. On the couch, my breathing became labored as I tossed and turned. Jensen finished his sandwich and walked back into the living room.

"Kate?" He moved closer and went to touch my shoulder, trying to wake me from my nightmare but I wasn't there. My eyes flew open and I screamed, falling off the couch and backing up against the wall.

"Please! I'm sorry. I'm so sorry! Please don't hurt me!" Jensen's eyes widened as I cowered away from him. He tried reaching for me to calm me down but all I saw was Josh's knife coming towards me. "No!" I started fighting against him and Jensen struggled to restrain me.

"Katie! It's me! It's Jensen. I'm here, baby. You're safe. You're home." I didn't hear him though so he grabbed me and crushed me against his chest and whispered in my ear. "You're okay. I'm here, baby. I'm here. When I finally came to, tears were streaming down both of our faces and I was gasping for air.

"Jensen?"

"Yeah, baby. Yeah, its me." I relaxed against him as he held me before tensing again, fresh tears falling from my cheeks, the sobs returning. "Shh, baby. It's okay." Jensen pulled me into his lap and stroked my hair until I fell asleep again. Jensen picked me up and carried me to his room, laying me down in his bed. He sat down next to me, watching for nightmares. After about an hour, he left, leaving the door open just in case.

I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling, the memories of what happened flooding back. I bit my lip as I shook. _There's too much. Too much pressure inside me. Stop. How do I make it stop?_ I stilled for a moment, realizing what I was feeling. I needed to cut. I stood, slowly walking out of the room, keeping an eye out for Jensen. Sneaking into the kitchen, I grabbed one of the knives and rushed to the bathroom. I closed the door and in my haste, didn't bother locking the door. I sat on the toilet seat and hesitated. I had never done this before. I'd always been able to resist the urge but not today. I had to do this now. I needed to get rid of this feeling. I lifted the knife to my wrist and made the first cut, hissing in pain before sighing in relief. _More._ _I have to cut more._


	23. You Love Her

I had just finished the third cut when the door squeaked open. I jerked my gaze upwards and stilled when I saw Jensen's shocked face. _No._ "Kate?" He held his hands up as he cautiously made his way over to me. I bit my lip as he knelt down in front of me, carefully pulling the bloody knife out of my grasp. Finally, I couldn't look at him anymore. His face was screwed up in confusion, pain, guilt…I couldn't handle it.

I looked down at my wrist as Jensen grabbed a cloth, pressing it down against the cuts to stop the bleeding. The cuts were deeper than I had planned but I just couldn't stop. There was too much pressure. But the more I cut, the easier it was to breathe.

Jensen pulled the first aid kit out from under the sink and started to bandage my wounded wrist. It hurt but at least I could breathe now. After wrapping my wrist, Jensen stilled and sighed before looking up at me. I could feel his gaze but couldn't return it. I felt better but the guilt of doing this to him…I wasn't sure if it was worth it.

Jensen's hands went up to my face to wipe away the tears I hadn't realized were there. "Katie." I closed my eyes, shaking my head. Jensen leaned forward, pressing a kiss to my forehead. "Kate. Baby, look at me. Please?" I let him shift my gaze to meet his and almost immediately, I broke into sobs at the pain etched into his features. Jensen pulled me to his chest, running his fingers through my hair to comfort me.

* * *

Kate was asleep in my bedroom and I stepped out into the hallway to call Jared. I leaned against the wall across from the door so if Kate woke up, I would know. As I waited for my friend to pick up, I tried to think about how this had happened. I had no idea that Kate would ever do something like this. And now I had to somehow explain it to her brother when I didn't even understand.

"Hey man. What's up?" Jared's voice jarred me from my thoughts and I hesitated. "Jensen?"

"Jared, something's happened. I need your help."

"What's wrong? What happened, Jensen?" I bit my lip at the worry in his voice.

"It's Kate. She…"

"She what, Jensen? What happened? Is she okay?" Desperation leaked into his voice and I could help the tears that leaked from my eyes.

"She hurt herself, Jare. I had no idea how bad it was. I just…you need to be here."

"Alright. I'm coming but Jensen, what did she do?" I took in a shaky breath. "Jensen. What did my sister do?"

"She cut herself, Jared. She cut herself."

* * *

I heard Jared come in not long after but I didn't take my eyes off of Kate. Jared sat down next to me, his eyes following mine. "What happened?" he whispered.

I sighed. "I don't know…I just walked in and she—she had the knife in her hand. I cleaned her up but we didn't talk about it. She wouldn't say anything. And I didn't know what to say either. I never thought she would do this. I should have watched her closer."

"You couldn't have known, J. You can't blame yourself. And we can't blame her either."

"I know. I just, I don't know what to do, Jared."

"You love her. And you make sure she knows. That's what you do."


	24. Anything You Need

Jensen sat in the corner of his bedroom until Kate woke up. Jared sat with him for a while but decided to give him some time to himself while they waited. Kate woke up a few hours later and Jensen's head shot up. "Katie? You awake?" Her only reply was a soft groan. Jensen stood, worried. Sitting next to her on the bed, he brushed the hair out of her face and kissed her cheek. A slight moan escaped her as her eyes fluttered open.

"J?"

"Hey, sweetheart. How ya feelin'?"

"Like crap," she sighed.

"Do you need anything?" She hesitated. "Katie, anything you need, I'll get it."

"Just you." He sighed and lay down next to her, wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her close.

"I called Jared. He's here now," Jensen whispered after a while. Kate tensed and Jensen propped himself up on an elbow. "What's wrong?"

Kate turned towards him with tears in her eyes. "Please, don't. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'll never do it again. I just couldn't stop. I'm sorry!" She rambled on and Jensen, shocked, finally cut her off.

"Katie, sweetheart. What's wrong? What are you talking about?"

"Don't…don't leave me. Please. I shouldn't have done this to you and I'm so sorry."

"Hey. Don't." Jensen spoke gently. "You shouldn't have done it to yourself. And I'm not leaving you. I called Jared because I love you and I want to get you as much help as possible, okay?"

Kate bit her lip and nodded, tears still falling down her cheeks. Jensen, with furrowed brow, leaned over to wipe the tears away. "Come here." He pulled her close again, her head resting on his chest.

* * *

"Yeah, Gen. She seems a lot better. She went to therapy every day this week again and I think it's really helping." Jared paused, listening to his wife on the other end. "Yeah, I'll be home again tonight." He leaned against the counter. "Love you too."

Jared hung up right before hearing the front door open.

"Jared!" He turned to see Kate and Jensen walk into the room. "Guess what." Kate was practically bouncing in place.

"Jensen let you get a puppy?"

"What? No." She turned to Jensen quickly with widened eyes. "Can we though?"

Jensen smiled and shook his head. "We'll talk about it later."

"Well what is it then?"

"We get to go back to work on Monday!"

"You've been cleared?"

"Yup. I'm ready!"

"That's great! But you've got to let us know if you need a break or something, okay?"

"Don't worry, Jare. I'll be fine." Kate smiled.

Supernatural had gone on hiatus until Kate was cleared to go back to work. They had been off for a few weeks and she had been getting antsy, worried about how the fans would react. The cast and crew had all been really supportive of giving Kate time off however. Her mental health needed to come before the show and most people understood that. Still, Kate struggled to focus on recovering while fans were anxiously awaiting the show's return. Now that she was able to return to work, she thought, things would get better.


	25. Surprise

"You sure you're ready for this, sweetheart?" I turned to Jensen with a small smile.

"I'm sure." He bit his lip and I reached out, tracing his mouth with my thumb until he released his lip from between his teeth. "Jensen, I can do this," I whispered, looking up into his eyes. "What are you so worried about?" He glanced down as I continued to stroke his face.

"I just don't want you to take on more than you can handle." He looked up, his distress showing clearly on his face. Jensen took my hand away from his face to hold it firmly between his strong hands. "Just promise me you won't wait to come to me if you need to. I don't want you hurting yourself anymore." My face fell slightly as a single tear fell down my cheek. I pulled away slightly and wiped my face before Jensen could. I took in a shaky breath before composing myself and looking him in the eyes.

"I promise."

* * *

Returning to work was harder than I thought it would be. Supernatural is a dark show and its darkness worked its way into my mind. That wasn't the worst part though. It was the workload that really brought me down. It was a lot of stress knowing how far behind schedule we were all because of me. But I pushed through with everyone's help. I still had nightmares though and I couldn't sleep alone. I typically finished before the boys but stayed up, waiting for Jensen to come to bed.

"Hey babe. It's 3 AM. You wrapped four hours ago. What are you still doing up?"

"Couldn't sleep without you." He sighed but crawled into bed, pulling me close.

"Well I'm here now."

* * *

 _I woke up strapped to a chair._

" _Glad you're back. I was afraid I hit you too hard."_

" _Josh? No. This isn't real. I'm home. This can't be real."_

" _Oh it's real, Kate." He held up his knife and tapped it against my cheek before slamming it down into my leg._

* * *

"Katie! Kate, wake up!" My eyes flew open and frantically searched the room before landing on a familiar set of green eyes above me. "Katie?"

"Jensen," I gasped out.

"I'm here, sweetheart. You're okay." He pulled me up against him and I took in a few shaky breaths to calm myself. Jensen stroked my hair and kissed my forehead. "I've got you." I finally relaxed against him and he laid us back down onto the bed. He waited a few moments before asking, "Wanna talk about it?"

I sniffed. "I was back in the basement. It was like I never left. Like this was the dream." Jensen squeezed me tighter.

"You're safe, Katie."

"But we don't even know where he is."

"Kate, I promise you I will never let him take you again. No matter what."

* * *

"Hey, have you seen Jensen?" My brother smiled.

"Yeah. He's in your trailer, Kate."

"Why is he in my trailer?" I questioned, confused about his tone. The way he spoke made me suspicious.

"I don't know. Maybe he wants to talk to you." He started to turn, a smirk on his face.

"Jared Tristan Padalecki. What are you hiding?"

"I don't know what you are talking about." Jared continued to walk away from me and I sighed before heading to my trailer. I hesitantly opened the door, wary of any pranks the boys might pull but when I saw what was in front of me, I froze.

"Surprise!" Jensen was sitting in the middle of the floor while a small, brown fluff of fur ran around him.

I remained still, the shock keeping my body in place. "Is that…? Jensen looked up, smiling.

"Yup. And she's all yours." My eyes widened.

"Really?" He nodded. I knelt down slowly and the puppy immediately headed my way, eager for me to pet her. I obliged and Jensen grinned at us.

"I thought maybe she could help you sleep when I'm not there." I looked up and smiled. "So what do you want to name her?" I bit my lip.

"Do you think Jared would kill me if I named her Sammy?" Jensen threw his head back as he laughed at my question.

"Sammy it is."


	26. Let Me Take Care Of You

I sat on the floor playing with Sammy. I was done for the day but Jensen and Jared still had a few scenes to shoot. I wanted to stay up until they were finished but I was rubbing my tired eyes, unsure of how much longer I could keep them open. Reluctantly, I picked up Sammy and stood, stumbling toward the couch to lay down. Cuddling Sammy to my chest, I closed my eyes, giving in to sleep.

 _I sat, bound to an uncomfortable chair, my head lolling to the side. I closed my eyes, wanting to sleep, to escape from this basement if only in my dreams. Maybe I would dream of Jensen. Maybe I would be happy. But no, I wouldn't get to fall asleep yet. The door swung open, banging loudly against the wall. I jerked, my eyes going straight to Josh before moving back down to my blood stained lap._

" _Good morning, Sunshine!" My eyes remained downcast as I refused to look at him. He grabbed my hair, pulling my head back, and forcing me to look at him. I gasped, shocked by the rough movement. "I said 'good morning.'" I spat in his face, angry at him for all he had done to me. I released my hair and jerked away from me, a disgusted look on his face as he wiped off the spit. Suddenly, he smacked me across the face. I wasn't surprised really. I had deserved that._

I woke up to the sound of Sammy barking. She was almost on top of me, one paw on my face as if to wake me from my nightmare. I took in a deep breath and sighed, wrapping the puppy up in my arms. "Thanks, Sammy."

* * *

"Hey, I thought you'd be asleep by now."

"I slept a little. Sammy woke me up." Jensen frowned.

"Another nightmare?"

"Yeah." Jensen sighed. "It's okay. She woke me up before it got really bad."

Jensen looked at me before asking cautiously, "Are they memories?" I nodded and he came forward, hugging me to his chest. "I'm so sorry."

I breathed in his scent before responding. "It's not your fault, J." He didn't reply. He just held on to me for a few minutes before finally speaking.

"Are you ready to go home?"

* * *

"Man, I'm starving."

"Jared, you're always 'starving.'"

"Really though, can we just stop and pick up some food."

"From where? It's one o'clock in the morning!"

"I don't know…Denny's sounds good."

"Jare, I'm exhausted."

"Fine…oh there's a Taco Bell!" he shouted. "Pull in here," he directed our driver as I sighed. "I'll be quick. Promise."

Jared ran into the restaurant and I leaned up against Jensen tiredly. Jared went up to the counter and smiled. "Hi. How may I help you?"

"Can I get three taco supemes, a chalupa supreme, a cheesy gordita crunch, a grilled burrito supreme, a quesorito, a quesadilla, and a small diet Pepsi?"

* * *

I rubbed my eyes and slid under the covers, exhausted and waiting for Jensen to come back from the bathroom. Eventually he crawled into bed next to me and kissed my forehead. He settled in behind me, pulling me close. "Goodnight, sweetheart."

"Goodnight."

 _I wiggled in the chair, squeezing my legs together, fighting the urge to urinate. It had been so long. I could not do this. No way. I could not wet myself. I bit my lip and squeezed my hands together into fists, not even breathing. I could not let this happen. Tears started rolling down my cheek. How long had it been? I couldn't do this. I tasted metal and felt hot liquid pour down my chin but didn't release my lip. I couldn't do this. I couldn't hold it any longer. The warm liquid poured down my leg and I let out a sob._

I woke up crying and looked down. _Oh no_. I let out another sob, before coving my mouth. "Kate, baby. What's wrong?" I couldn't respond. He tried to pull me closer but I pushed him away. That surprised him. "Kate, what's going on?"

"Oh my God. I—"

"You what?" I couldn't say it out loud. I had wet the bed. I quickly got up and ran to the bathroom, sitting on top of the toilet and sobbing. Jensen looked down and saw the wet spot on the bed before following me. "Katie. It's okay." He knelt down in front of my shaking form and I shook my head, still sobbing.

"I can't believe I did that!"

"Babe, it's okay."

"No, it's not! I ruined everything. I ruined the sheets. I ruined the mattress."

"Honey, we'll just get new sheets and a new mattress pad. It will be fine."

I put my head in my hands. "I wet the bed, Jensen. It's not fine," I mumbled.

"Babe. Look at me." I looked up, eyes red, and he brushed the hair out of my face. "Do you wanna talk about the nightmare." I bit my lip.

It was three days, Jensen. I had to—I couldn't hold it."

"That's okay. No one would expect you to."

"I'm a grown woman, Jensen. I shouldn't wet the bed during a bad dream."

"Sweetheart. These are no ordinary bad dreams. You went through trauma. Being scared is valid. _Your feelings_ are valid. If something like this happens, we can deal with it, okay?"

"Okay."

"Now. Why don't you take a shower? I'll get you some new clothes and take care of the bed and sheets and everything."

"J, no. I should take care of that."

"Honey, let me take care of it. Let me take care of you."


	27. Eenie Meenie Miney Moe

I spent way too long in the shower and Jensen definitely noticed. My showers usually only last about 20 minutes but I had probably been in there for over an hour before Jensen peaked his head into the bathroom. "Kate, baby? You okay in there?"

"Uh, yeah. Yeah, I'm fine." I struggled to make my voice sound normal. Truth was, I couldn't get clean enough. I just felt so incredibly dirty. I had rubbed my skin raw trying to scrub away all the germs. I looked down at my skin and bit my lip.

I didn't want Jensen to know anything was wrong so I turned off the water and grabbed a towel, wrapping it around my body and stepping out of the shower, not expecting him to still be there. Jensen's eyes widened at my red skin and suddenly I felt miniscule. "I just wanted to make sure I was clean…" My boyfriend's eyes softened as he moved toward me and handed me some pajamas.

"Go ahead and get dressed. I'll get some coconut oil for that."

I pulled on the shorts and tank top before moving to sit on the bed and wait for Jensen. He returned quickly and motioned for me to scoot back. He sat across from me and took my arm in his gentle hands. As he massaged the oil into my sore skin, he whispered, "Remember that ice skating date we had?"

"Which one?" He chuckled.

"The one where we got caught." I thought about when the paparazzi got pictures of our date and smiled. We had been together for a while before they caught us together. That had to have been our 6th or 7th date.

"Yeah. That was fun."

"We should do it again."

"What about Build-a-Bear? Do you remember that?" He shook his head and he moved on to massage oil onto my legs. "You got drunk and made me take you Build-a-Bear. You built a Stormtrooper bear and made drunken pew pew noises." He threw his head back and laughed.

"I remember that now. I couldn't choose between the Stormtrooper and Yoda so we played Meenie Miney Moe to decide."

I giggled. "And you were so drunk you couldn't remember it. Instead of the real version, you decided to be cute." I smiled, remembering. "Eenie, meenie, miney, moe. Catch a Katie by the toe. If she hollers, let her go. My mommy said to pick the very best one and you are it," I quoted, bopping him on the nose like he had done to me at the workshop so long ago. Jensen burst into laughter, not having remembered my story.

"Why do you put up with me?"

I smiled, shaking my head. "I just love you too much."

Jensen grinned widely. "Love you too, Katie."

* * *

Jensen finished massaging oil into my sore skin before laying down next to me and kissing my forehead, pulling me close, being careful not to rub my raw skin. "How long do you think we can stay in bed?"

I looked up to the clock and sighed. "Approximately two minutes." Jensen groaned and pulled me even closer. "J, we have to get ready for work." Jensen rolled his eyes before rolling over, hovering above me. He looked down at me and I froze, completely distracted. He leaned down, his elbows just barely keeping his body from touching mine.

"We have to do what?" he whispered against my lips. I couldn't answer and just closed my eyes as he kissed me. He pulled away all too soon and I whined as his lips left mine. He smirked and pecked my lips quickly before sitting up, pulling me with him. "Right. Time for work."


	28. Security

"Kat! I can't believe you!"

"Well are you in or not?"

"Oh I'm definitely in. A chance to mess with those two? No way I'm passing that up."

Kathryn smirked and I bit my lip in anticipation. Jared and Jensen had recently hidden in Kat's trailer to scare her. Not too bad, right? Wrong. Kat kinda sorta had to go to the bathroom. That's right. They scared it right out of her. Understandably, she wanted revenge. And I was going to help her get it.

"I can't wait to—." I paused as my phone rang. "Sorry Kat. I've got to get this." I left the stage and went outside for privacy. "Hello?"

"Vancouver PD. Is this Kaitlyn Padalecki?"

"Yes. What can I do for you?"

"We believe you should increase your security detail. You could be in danger."

"What?"

"We have reasons to believe that Josh Elliott is back in Vancouver."

"What kind of reasons?" I questioned, panicking.

"We got an anonymous tip. But what's important is that you increase security."

Without even realizing it, the call had ended and I had sunk to the ground. I gently placed my phone on the ground and slowly put my face in hands, trying breathe. _Josh was back._

* * *

I don't know how long I sat there before Jared found me. "Katie?" He knelt down in front of me. "What's wrong? Why are you crying?"

I took in a breath. "Josh is back," I managed to choke out.

"What?" His eyes widened.

"Vancouver PD called. They think he's in town," I whispered.

Jared grabbed my forearm and pulled me up. "We've got to talk to Clif. Tell him to increase security." I stayed silent as he pulled into one of the buildings and to one of the conference rooms. Once he had let go of my arm, I pulled out a chair and sat down slowly.

Jared paced back and forth while we waited for Clif. He had his phone in his hands, typing rapidly when Clif rushed through the door. Clif sat down across from me and Jared explained everything to him. I still had not spoken a word since Jared had pulled me into the building.

Not long after, Jensen ran into the room. "What's going on?" Jared answered all of his questions while I stared at my lap. Jensen fell silent and sat down next to me. "We are going to figure this out, Katie. He's not going to hurt you again."


	29. Figure This Out

"We are going to figure this out, Katie. He's not going to hurt you again."

"You don't know that," I spat out, standing up. "None of you know anything! Tightening security isn't going to do anything. If he wants me, he'll find a way." I turned from them, heading for the door when I felt a hand on my wrist. I pulled back.

"Katie," Jensen started.

"No, Jensen! No."

"Kate, calm down." My brother attempted.

"Don't tell me to calm down, Jared!" The boys fell silent. It wasn't like me to yell. Jensen's hand was still at my wrist and I tried to pull away again. "Just stop! Stop acting like everything is going to be okay because it's not! Josh is going to find me." By now, I was at full volume, screaming at them, struggling against Jensen's grip. Jensen, eyes wide, reached for me with his other hand, attempting to calm me down but I fought against him. "No! He's going to find me, Jensen! He's going to kill me!" With that, Jensen pulled me against his chest and I stopped fighting, breaking down into sobs. Jensen gently lowered me to the ground while Jared and Clif watched, still in shock of my outburst. "He's going to kill me," I sobbed into Jensen's chest.

"Shh. It's okay. I've got you. I've got you, baby." Jensen held me firmly against him as he ran a hand through my hair to calm me. Pressing his lips to the top of my head, he held me tight. He was doing everything he could to hold me together as I fell apart in front of him.

"Don't let him hurt me, J. Please don't let him hurt me." Jared's heart broke, watching his sister fall to pieces in front of him while he stood there doing nothing. But as he watched his sister clinging to his best friend, he knew Jensen was the one she needed right now. "I've got you, baby. I'm not gonna let anything happen to you."

* * *

I woke with my head pounding. I had fallen asleep crying into Jensen's chest and he had carried me back to his trailer. I opened my eyes and looked around for Jensen, still needing his presence. I heard him before I saw him.

"No. Cancel the interview. We're not doing it." I heard him whisper. "No, she's not in any state to –. I don't think the convention is a good idea either." I turned as Jensen came walking into view. He stopped when he saw me. "Katie, you're awake. Hey, how are you feeling." I felt horrible but ignored his question.

"Who are you talking to?" He sighed.

"Elizabeth."

"You're not canceling our appearance at the convention, are you?"

"Liz, I'm gonna have to call you back." He ended the call and set his phone down before turning back to me. "Kate, I don't think it's a good idea—"

"Jensen, fans are expecting us. It's two days away. We can't just not show up."

"Katie—"

"We're going."

* * *

"Are you sure you wanna do this?"

"Yes, Jensen. I'm sure." I slid into the car, Jensen following me soon after, only hesitating for a moment.

When we arrived at the hotel, we followed Clif into the green room several bodyguards flanking us. We were each required to have two bodyguards at all times. The boys and I sat down on one of the couches and our bodyguards dispersed throughout the room. It was odd having so many bodyguards but I had to admit, they did make me feel safer. We sat there in silence for a while, waiting for our panel to begin. Typically, there was a lot of laughter going on backstage but we were all exhausted so we sat in a comfortable silence before our handler came to escort us, and our bodyguards, to the stage.


	30. 911: What's Your Emergency?

After spending all day with fans at VanCon, we all went out for dinner together. I sat between Jensen and Jared and Briana was across from me. The others ordered wine but I refrained, knowing that alcohol interacts with my medication. By 1AM, I was exhausted but the others were still having fun. I leaned over to Jensen and whispered, "I'm gonna get a cab and head back to the apartment."

"You want me to come with you?"

"No, you stay and have fun. I've got Clark to watch out for me." He seemed unsure but I quickly added, "I'll be fine. Clark knows what he's doing." He relented and pulled me in for a quick kiss before I stood and said my goodbyes.

Clark and I slid into a cab and made our way towards Jensen's apartment as I was still staying with him. We chatted quietly in the back of the cab about the day's events and some of the fans I had met.

* * *

"Hey, man. I'm gonna head out."

"Hey, Jared. Would you mind checking on Katie before you head home?"

"Sure thing. But didn't Clark go with her?"

"Yeah. I just have a bad feeling. It's probably nothing."

Clark walked me to the door, standing there until he heard the click of the lock before heading back to the cab. I walked into the kitchen and immediately covered my nose, disgusted by the scent. I walked over to the trashcan, shirt covering the lower have of my face, and peaked in. I didn't know what the smell was, but it was definitely coming from the trashcan. Keeping my shirt over my nose, I tied the bag and sprayed some air freshener before unlocking the door and walking out into the night, trash bag in hand. I turned into the alleyway and tossed the bag into the trash bin before turning around and bumping into something solid. I squeaked and backed up.

"Sorry. You scared me," I chuckled before looking up at the man. I gasped and backed away but it was too late. He grabbed me and threw me against the wall, my head slamming into the ground as I landed. I groaned and tried to get up when I felt a hand at my wrist. I looked up just in time to be pulled upwards, his knee slamming into my stomach. I doubled over in pain and gasped out, "Josh. Please."

He easily pushed me over, crawling on top of me and straddling my waist. He started going for my wrists to hold my arms down when adrenaline overcame me. I pushed down on his inner elbow with the outside of mine and moved my left foot to the outside of his right. I pushed him over with my right hand and shot up to make my escape. It was a move I learned from shooting Supernatural and I mentally thanked my stunt double for teaching me.

My excitement was short lived however, as Josh reached and grabbed my ankle, tripping me. Landing with an oomph, I quickly tried to get back up but Josh was already on top of me, shoving my face into the concrete. I cursed myself for my confidence. It was over. I couldn't get him off of me, not with him sitting on my back. But before I could even start to beg for my life, Josh was suddenly knocked off of me. After the initial shock wore off, I lifted myself up and saw Jared struggling with Josh.

"Jared!" My brother was able to fight his way on top of Josh, holding him down so he couldn't do any damage. Jared turned to me just long enough to yell, "Go back inside! Now!"

I hesitated but one more glance at Josh had me running back to the apartment. I slammed the door closed and turned the lock before pulling out my phone and sinking to the ground. Dialing 911, I tried to calm my breathing.

"911. What's your emergency?" I frantically explained the situation to the operator and she told me to stay on the line while they sent someone over. She kept me talking the whole time, trying to keep me calm. After asking for details of the situation, she started asking me about my brother, Jared. What he was like. What he did for a living. That sort of thing. It worked to an extent. By the time I heard the knock at the door, I was a lot calmer than I had been. But I was still freaking out. After peaking through the peephole and seeing the police standing there, the operator and I hung up. I opened the door and the officers took in my appearance. My hair was a mess, blood was dripping from my forehead, and my eyes were red from exhaustion.

"Is Jared okay?" The tall, blonde one raised an eyebrow but answered anyway.

"He's fine. He may be a little bruised tomorrow but it's nothing serious." I exhaled and sat down on the couch, relieved that Josh hadn't hurt my brother too badly. "Officer Wells is speaking to him now."

"Officer Wells?"

"You know him?"

"He's the one who found me. He saved me."

* * *

After speaking to the officers for a while, I heard a commotion outside. "This is my apartment! Where is my girlfriend? Where is she?" I shot up, exhaustion forgotten, and rushed out the door. I pushed myself between Jensen and an officer, hugging Jensen to me, desperate for his touch. He quickly calmed down and wrapped his arms around me. We held each other for a few moments before he leaned back to inspect me. He frowned at my appearance and looked up to the officer. "Why hasn't her cut been cleaned? Has no one checked her out yet?" he questioned accusatorially.

The officer sighed and motioned towards the ambulance. Jensen quickly turned with me in his arms and started walking us to the ambulance. I sat inside while one of the paramedics cleaned my wound and inspected me for a concussion. "Well, you don't have a concussion but you should still take it easy for a few days. Get lots of rest and don't engage in any strenuous activities."

Finally, Jared made his way over to us, done with the police questioning him. I hopped off the ambulance to hug him and he gently wrapped his arms around me. "Are you okay?" I asked.

"I should be asking you that. What happened to Clark? I thought he was going to take you home."

I bit my lip, ashamed that I had been so careless. "He did. But something smelled in the kitchen so I took the trash out."

Jared's eyes widened. "You decided to take the trash out at 2AM? By yourself?"

"It was stupid. I know. I wasn't thinking."

"The important thing is that you're safe and they've got Josh. He's not going to hurt you again," Jensen spoke up. Jared nodded before pulling me to his side. We stood there, waiting for the police to finish up their work so we could head to bed. It was 5 in the morning before they left and we trudged into Jensen's apartment. Jared took the guest room and I followed Jensen to his own room. I crawled into bed, still in my dirty clothes but not caring with how tired I was. Jensen followed suit, pulling me closer before we both fell asleep.


	31. Punched

I groaned and rolled over, reaching for Jensen. My hands finding just covers, I opened my eyes. Jensen was gone but in his place was Sammy. I scooped up the puppy in my arms, cuddling her close. "Hey, girlie. Where's J?" She barked in response and I chuckled before setting her down and making my way out of bed. I followed her into the hallway and down the stairs towards the kitchen where I heard Jensen and Jared talking. "I don't know. Maybe we should call and take the day off. I'm worried about—Hey, Katie. What are you doing up? It's 8 in the morning."

I shrugged. "You were gone." Jensen sighed. "What are you two doing up?"

"Couldn't sleep," they answered in sync. I nodded and pulled out a chair. Sitting down, I rested my head on one of my hands, tiredly.

"So we've got two hours until we are needed on set. What's the plan?" The boys gave each other a knowing look before Jared proceeded.

"We were thinking of calling in actually."

I shot him an incredulous look. "You've got to be kidding. That would set filming back a whole day! We can't do that this early in the season."

"Katie, the police didn't even leave until 5 this morning. You got the most sleep out of all of us and even that was only three hours."

"We've worked on less!"

"Yeah, but Katie…we're just…we're worried about you. No one would expect you to work after this. Why don't you go back to bed?"

My mouth set in a hard line, I was silent for a few moments. "I can't just sit here and think about it all day. I need to work."

The boys sighed and looked at each other. "Fine," Jensen replied.

* * *

I leaned against the wall, sliding against it to sit down. "You look exhausted." Jared handed me a cup of coffee and I took it gratefully.

"I am exhausted."

"We could have just stayed home. Bob would have understood."

"Yeah but then we would have been behind. I'll be fine."

"Will you?" I looked up at my brother, seeing the seriousness on his face and new we weren't just talking about surviving the day anymore.

"Yeah, Jared. I'll be okay. Josh is taken care of. He didn't hurt you and I…" I paused for a moment before continuing, "I've had worse." Jared's gaze softened and he sat down next to me. "As long as I have you and Jensen, I'll be fine."

* * *

Slowly, the day went on until the clock struck midnight. "Alright, guys. Let's finish this scene and then we can all go home." I sighed in exhaustion. I was beginning to think that Jared and Jensen were right. We should have taken the day off. I was starting to feel lightheaded and standing up from my place on the floor was proving difficult. Jake, the actor playing one of the vampires in this episode, reached his hand out towards me. I took it and he pulled me up easily.

"You sure you've got this, Kate?" I nodded but the small movement made me dizzy and I had to steady myself as I stumbled slightly. Jake looked doubtfully at me as I walked over to my mark but followed to his place in front of me.

"And Action." We began our fight sequence easily enough. Everything was fine until my vision started getting hazy. I tried to keep going but ended up moving forward at the exact moment Jake's fist shot out. Too late, I realized I was supposed to dodge and my arms shot up defensively, trying to protect my face from the blow to come. Jake's fist slammed me and I fell backwards as another wave of dizziness came on. Landing on my back, I got the wind knocked of me. I tried to take in a breath as I heard "Cut!" from somewhere in the room. As my vision cleared, I was able to make out Jake's worried face in front of me.

"Kate, are you okay? I knew this was a bad idea."

I shook the rest of the fogginess out of my head before responding and sitting up. "I'm fine. I just got a little dizzy." I tried to stand but Jake pushed me back down.

"I don't think that's a good idea right now."

"Jake, really, I'm fine."

"I just punched you in the face. Stay down until Jimmy gives you the okay." I sighed but relented as I saw Jimmy, our medic, was already on his way over. Jimmy knelt down beside me and checked the side of my head before moving on to see if I had a concussion.

"You're lucky, Kate. No concussion. This time. What happened?"

"I just got a little dizzy, that's all." He raised his eyebrows and bit his lip for a moment.

"Maybe you should head to the ER to get checked out. You hit your head last night too, right?" I nodded reluctantly. "You're done for tonight. Get Cliff to drive you to the hospital before you head home and then…get some rest. Lots of it." Jimmy helped me up as Jensen and Jared ran onto set.

"What happened?!" I rolled my eyes, upset that they were making such a big deal out of nothing. I let Jimmy explain before Jensen helped me to the car. Jared explained everything to Cliff as he drove us all to the hospital.

We sat silently in the waiting room for an hour before my name got called. The nurse grilled me, with Jared and Jensen waiting outside, about how I had gotten hurt. It was obvious she thought it was one of the boys who had hurt me at first but once I explained that I was an actress shooting a fight sequence, she let it go. Cliff and the boys rushed back in once the nurse left and sat with me while I was waiting for the doctor.

Doctor Marshall spent all of ten minutes in the room with us. She said that I had no concussion and she concluded that the dizziness was due to exhaustion. Stating that I should get a good night's rest and plenty of water, she left us.

"I told you it was nothing," I muttered.

"Exhaustion's not nothing," Jared argued. I rolled my eyes and thankfully, Jared let it go. Jensen wrapped his arm around me and led me out to the car with Cliff and Jared trailing behind.

We were only in the car for five minutes before I fell asleep against Jensen. He sighed in relief and kissed my forehead, glad that I was finally getting some rest.


	32. The Gardens

I didn't wake up when Jensen carried me to bed and I slept well, better than I had in a long time. When I did wake up, Jensen was still there beside me. We stayed there for a while, just holding each other before having to get up for work. When I looked in the mirror, I sighed. The bruise on the side of my face would take some extra makeup to cover. I didn't really think that much of it however. It was a bruise. It would heal. Sure, it wasn't pretty but it wasn't as bad as I had thought it would be either. And so, I went on with my days.

Each morning when I woke up, Jensen was there beside me, holding me close. Eventually, I'd get up and check my face in the mirror, the bruising eventually fading along with the pain.

My mood improved with every day that passed. I was less jumpy, I slept more, and I was overall happier. With Josh in jail, I didn't have as much to worry about. The nightmares had stopped and I woke feeling refreshed every morning.

This morning when I woke, things were much the same. Jensen was lying in bed beside me and I moved closer so he could wrap his arm around my waist. He looked like he had been awake for a while, just watching me. The only difference was that it was later in the day. It was about 10 in the morning when I woke. We had the day off and I was definitely taking advantage of it.  
"So what's the plan for today?" I asked.

Jensen smiled. "We," he pulled me closer to his chest, "are going on a date." I smiled.

"Oh yeah? What kind of date?"

"We are going to VanDusen Botanical Gardens."

My eyes lit up. "I've been wanting to go forever!" I pulled myself from his arms and jumped out of bed to get ready. "I can't believe this. I'm so excited!" I squealed and ran off to the bathroom to get dressed. Jensen smiled and shook his head before climbing out from underneath the covers and getting dressed.

* * *

I spent practically the entire trip staring at the scenery in awe. I hardly even noticed Jensen chuckling at me and I completely missed how he was acting a little off. He was more nervous than usual, this being an important day.

The gardens were beautiful and I was absolutely mesmerized. It wasn't until we got to a little waterfall, though, that my jaw actually dropped. It was a small waterfall, created by several rocks and boulders jutting out of the earth but it was gorgeous. It was surrounded by trees and the water let out into a small pond. I stared out at the water, eyes traveling up to the waterfall, watching the water rush out into the pond. It was silent except for the whooshing of the water and the chirping of the birds.

I looked at Jensen, eyes wide and smiling. I couldn't believe we were there. I closed my eyes and breathed in as the wind blew through my hair. I didn't open my eyes until I felt Jensen's hand slip out of mine. I looked at him, frowning until I saw him reach into his pocket and get down on one knee. My eyes widened as my hands flew to my face and tears started to form. He opened the small black box and carefully set it down in front of me.

"Katie," Jensen took in a ragged breath as he took my hands in his. "This past year has been the best of my life. I never thought that I would be here with my best friend's sister but I am so grateful for it. For you.

"I know that the past six months have been rough to say the least but we made it through. And I am so grateful for that. I thank God every day for you. That you are here with me, safe. I never thought that I could care this much for another person but when you were gone, I lost it. When we got you back and you were sitting there in the hospital bed, talking to Officer Wells about what had happened, I didn't know what to do. You had gone through so much. I could never imagine how hard it all was for you.

"And then, after everything, you still wanted me. When you asked me to lay in the hospital bed with you, I was shocked. How could you still want me? I let that dirtbag get his hands on you. I didn't protect you. And yet, all you wanted was for me to lay in bed with you. I knew in that moment that I wanted to marry you.

"You are so wonderfully pure and honest and beautiful. You are kind and compassionate and you love with all of your heart. You care so much for other people and you feel. You really feel. And I know sometimes it hurts to feel everything in the way that you do but you are so much more beautiful for it. You are the strongest, most beautiful person I have ever met and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to see you walk towards me down the aisle. I want to wake up with you every day. I want to start a family with you. _I want you._ All of you.

"So, Kaitlyn Anne Padalecki, will you marry me?" I stood silent for a moment, wondering if it was all real. It couldn't be. The love of my life was asking me to marry him and I was speechless. How I became so lucky was beyond me. This man, this beautiful man, was asking for my hand.

"Yes," I finally breathed out. His nervous smile turned into a real grin as he shot up. He hugged me close, picking me up, and spinning me around as I giggled. Jensen set me back down on my feet and wiped away the happy tears that had spilled over onto my cheeks.

"Yes?" He asked, just to make sure. I nodded, smiling, and he bent down to pick up the ring, slipping it onto my finger. It wasn't until then that I actually looked at it. The silver band twisted on both sides, with small diamonds trailing the band like vines, leading to a larger diamond in the middle. It was beautiful. And it fit perfectly.


	33. Padackles

I couldn't stop staring at my finger on the ride home. It wasn't really about the ring. I mean, it was but it was more the fact that I was going to be getting married to Jensen. He was right, the last few months had been rough, too say the least. My anxiety and depression had gotten worse. Josh had kidnapped me. Things were just really hard. I wasn't sure I was going to survive Josh. Not just when I was with him but afterwards as well. I honestly thought he was going to kill me, whether it be directly or through my illness. The PTSD symptoms were hard to handle too. Waking up every night from nightmares. Seeing his face when I closed my eyes. The episodes and hallucinations.

But Jensen helped me through it. When he found me in the bathroom, blood flowing from my wrist, I had been horrified. But it was exactly what I needed. I needed him to know. I needed his help. I don't think I would have made it without him. He got me to talk. He got me to see a doctor and get medication. He looked out for me. He loved me. And I loved him.

I was surprised when I felt Jensen's hand on my shoulder. He pulled me from my thoughts and I looked up at him. "We're home." I smiled. _Home._

* * *

It wasn't long before we heard a knock at the door. "Oh, I hope it's Jared!" I shot up off the couch and headed for the door.

"Uh, honey…"

I opened the front door and, seeing Jared there, practically tackled him. Pulling out of the hug, I brought my hand up. "Look, Jare!"

"I know!" he exclaimed.

"You know?" Jensen walked up behind me, putting his arm over my shoulders.

"He helped me design the ring." I turned to my fiancée before looking back at Jared and crossing my arms.

"You knew?!"

"Kate, come on. It's not like I could _tell_ you." I pouted for a moment and slipped away from the two boys.

"Baby—" Jensen started.

"No, it's okay. It's fine." I walked over to the couch and sat down, the boys following me.

It was silent for a moment before Jared asked, "so, are you gonna call mom?"

"Does she know already too?" I asked spitefully. I wasn't really angry. I was just a little jealous that my brother knew before I did.

"No, dad knows but that's it."

"Dad knows?"

"Well I had to ask him for his blessing," Jensen explained.

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

"Shouldn't you be happy right now?"

"I am happy, Jare. I just…I'm a little jealous you knew before I did."

"Well I didn't know you'd say yes."

"How could you not know I would say yes?" I asked incredulously.

"Well I'm not a mind reader!" I shook my head.

"Silly boys. Of course, I'd say yes." Jensen smiled and pulled me in for a hug, kissing the top of my head.

* * *

After a while, Jensen and I called our parents and siblings. It took a while to get through everyone and once we had finished, we both sighed in relief. It wasn't that we weren't excited to talk to them. We were just happy for everyone to know.

After that was all done, we decided to make dinner. I put the spaghetti squash in the oven and then we got started on the brown butter sweet potato sauce. It was one of my favorite recipes and I was excited to make it for the first time in months. I was browning the butter when I heard Jared talking. "Hey, guys! We are just making dinner and I thought I'd say hi real quick while I had a second."

"No, Jared." He turned so I was in the video too, making the sauce in the background. I motioned to Jensen and me. " _We_ are making dinner. You are mooching."

Jared laughed. "That's very true. I am just mooching." Jensen rolled his eyes but kept peeling the sweet potatoes. Jared paid him no mind, however, moving closer to the food. "Katie is making her special brown butter sweet potato spaghetti squash. It's AH-MAZING and I can't wait to chow down on it."

"Who said you get to eat it, Sasquatch?" I joked. "This is our dinner. _We_ are celebrating."

The boys laughed but Jared's mouth quickly formed an 'o.' "What?"

Jared turned to show me the screen and my hand flew to my mouth. The comments were pouring in. _What are you guys celebrating? Why can't Jared celebrate too? Is that a ring on her finger? Oh my god! They're getting married!_

I turned to Jensen, who had been reading over my shoulder. "I'm so sorry," I mouthed. Jensen smiled and shook his head, putting his arm over my shoulder and kissing my forehead.

"Yeah, guys. We're engaged. I'm locking this down," he joked. A few more words were exchanged before Jared ended the live stream. I moved the pan of brown butter off the burner and made my way to the living room, Jensen following closely behind.

Sitting down on the couch and putting my head in my hands, I muttered, "I ruined it." Jensen sat down next to me and put his hand on my knee.

"You did not ruin it. So, you gave them a little spoiler in the Padackles life. That's okay. They were gonna find out eventually."

"Yeah but—Oh my god!" Jensen's eyes widened at my outburst. "When we get married, can I change my last name to Padackles?"

Jensen gave me a face and shook his head at me, chuckling. "C'mon. Let's finish dinner."


	34. Breathe

_I was running as fast as my legs could carry me. Heading towards the dock, I chanced a glance behind me before jumping into the lake, yelping as I hit the cold water. As I came up, I turned towards the dock, grinning._

" _Come on in, Sam."_

" _No way, Lacey. Get out of there."_

" _Come on, Sam. Dean would do it."_

" _Yeah, well I'm not Dean." The words were hardly out of his mouth before my eyes widened as I felt something wrap around my ankle. Before I could say anything, I was yanked under, Sam screaming for me._

* * *

"Cut! That was great, guys. Kate, hold tight while I check the footage." I nodded before starting to swim around in the lake, trying to warm myself up while Jared started to walk away from the dock to talk to the crew, I guessed. Strangely, Caleb was still underwater but I didn't think too much of it until I felt a hand wrap around my ankle and I jumped in surprise.

"Very funny, Caleb. You got me." I said, rolling my eyes. When he didn't let go and resurface, I looked down in confusion before I felt him yank. I screamed as he pulled me under the water, not even having time for one last breath.

I fought against Caleb but he wasn't going to release his grip easily. Beginning to panic, I fought harder but still, Caleb's grip remained firm. This wasn't just a joke. Black spots formed in my vision as I continued to kick and fight but nothing worked. Slowly my world faded to black.

* * *

Jared turned back toward the lake at the sound of his sister's scream. His eyes scanned the water but found nothing. He took off running towards the lake, diving into the water without hesitation. Once under the water, he began to search again. When he finally found her, he saw Caleb was pulling her down but she wasn't struggling at all. She must have passed out already. He moved quickly to Caleb, trying to release his grip on Kate. When she was finally free, he kicked quickly, wanting to get her to land as soon as possible. Once they broke through the water, he gasped for a breath but there was no similar action by Kate. Holding on to her, he swam to the dock where a crowd had formed. Jensen was crouched at the edge of the dock, eyes full of concern for his fiancée. He reached out and Jared passed his sister over to his best friend.

Jensen pulled Kate out of the water and laid her down on the dock. He leaned down and pressed his ear to her chest, checking for a heartbeat. Finding none, his heart dropped and he started CPR.

Jared climbed onto the dock and watched in concern as Jensen tried to revive Kate. Minutes went by and Jensen was becoming frustrated. _Why wasn't it working?_ Tears formed in Jensen's eyes as he began to wonder if she would live through this. Would he ever see her smile again?

"C'mon, Katie. Breathe. _Breathe._ " Jensen continued compressions as tears fell down his cheeks. It felt like it had been hours since they pulled Kate from the water but Jensen wouldn't stop, not until she opened her eyes. He paused his compressions for a moment to give her a breath before feeling a hand on his shoulder.

"J, she's gone."


	35. Afraid

Jensen continued his compressions, not ready to give up. Jared was on the other side of Kate, gripping her hand tightly, a single tear sliding down his face.

"Jensen. J, man, stop."

"No!" Jensen stopped his compressions for a moment to push the man away. Jensen glared at him. "I won't stop until she's breathing again." Jensen turned back to his fiancée but before he could start compressions again, Kate started coughing. She rolled over onto her side and brought her hand up to her chest as she struggled for air. The cast let out a sigh of relief and Jared brushed the hair back out of her face as Jensen rubbed her back comfortingly.

"Oh thank god," Jared let out. Kate took in a shaky breath and reached out to Jared, who had let go of her hand once her coughing fit had started. She clenched his shirt tight in her hand, pulling herself up and towards her brother. He wrapped his arms around her and she looked around defensively, trying to see where Caleb had gone. Jensen noticed her looking around and quickly spotted Caleb, getting up and walking towards him.

"What is your problem?! You could have killed her," he yelled.

Caleb scoffed. "You would have been better off if I had," he whispered so quietly only Jensen could hear him.

"What?"

"I know about your precious little Katie Kat. Fat lot of trouble, she is. I honestly don't know why you tried so hard to get her back. I would have let Josh keep her to play with—" Jensen had had enough, quickly throwing a punch to Caleb's face. Caleb stumbled back before lurching towards Jensen, ready to fight, but Cliff was there quickly, pulling the man away. Kate watched from Jared's arms, eyes wide and body shaking in fear.

"You stay away from Kate and this set! I swear to god if I see you again—"

"Jensen," Jared spoke up. "You're scaring her." Jensen's eyes shot down to Kate's, downcast. She was biting her lip and shaking violently, both from the cold and adrenaline. Jensen slowly walked back towards her, kneeling down next to her. He reached out to cup her cheek and she leaned in to his touch.

"Sorry, Katie. I didn't mean to scare you. Let's get you back to your trailer, huh?" She nodded slowly, still a bit frightened. Not of Jensen. His yelling hadn't helped but she could never be afraid of Jensen. He was her protector. He would never hurt her.

Jensen carefully scooped Kate up in his arms before heading towards her trailer, Jared following closely behind. Kate was gripping his shirt tightly, her face buried in her boyfriend's chest. Jensen opened her trailer door, careful not to jostle her too much. He set her down on the couch and wrapped a blanket around her trembling figure. Jensen tucked her hair behind her ear. "You alright, love?" He asked quietly, noticing she hadn't spoken since she had woken up.

It was in that moment that the dam broke. Kate burst into tears, shaking her head. Jensen pulled her in for a hug as Jared took her hand, squeezing it gently.

Kate tried to speak but the sobs kept anything coherent from leaving her mouth. "Shh. It's okay, baby. Let it out." She pulled Jensen tighter to herself as she squeezed Jared's hand. They weren't close enough, she thought. Kate tugged on Jared's hand, hoping he would get the message. He did, quickly moving in to join the hug. They stayed like that for a few minutes until Kate began to calm down, the sobbing replaced with sniffles. The boys pulled away, looking at Kate with concern.

"It's never gonna stop, is it?"

"What do you mean?"

"Josh. Caleb. People are never gonna stop coming after me." Kate looked down. "I'm never gonna be safe," she whispered. The boys' hearts sank.

"Katie, we're not gonna let anything happen to you. You've got increased security off set. We're gonna start screening people more heavily. And someone can be with you all the time, whether it's me, Jensen, or Cliff. You trust us, right? I got you out of there, didn't I?" She nodded, biting her lip.

"I just," she sighed. "I feel like I'm always gonna be looking over my shoulder, waiting for something to happen. Waiting for someone to save me. And I shouldn't have to!" Kate took a breath before continuing quietly, "I shouldn't have to be afraid."

"No, you shouldn't," Jensen whispered. "And we are gonna do our best to make sure you don't have to be afraid. Not anymore."


	36. More Than You Know

I woke up coughing a few hours later in bed at Jensen's apartment. Jensen stirred beside me and his eyes widened when the coughing intensified and I sat up, curling in on myself. He sat up with me and rubbed my back, waiting for the coughing to stop. When it finally did, his hand went to my shoulder. "You alright, babe?"

I put my face in my hands, tiredly, and nodded. "Yeah," I whispered, so low he could hardly hear me. He lay back down, slowly pulling me with him. He tried to pull me close to his side but I went a step further, laying on top of him, my legs falling to either side. He chuckled lowly.

"Well, you're awfully cuddly today."

"I don't feel so good," I mumbled into his chest. He looked down at me.

"Do you think you're getting sick from being in the cold water all day?" I shrugged, too tired to form a coherent thought, let alone answer him.

"Kate, really. Talk to me." I tried to focus but got distracted by the pain in my chest, worsening every time I took in a breath.

"It hurts," I whined.

"What hurts?" Jensen stroked my hair while rubbing my back.

"Chest." I buried my face in his shirt and bit my lip, trying to distract myself from the pain.

"Okay, what else?" I repositioned, resting the side of my face on his chest.

"Hard to breathe. Tired," I whispered.

"Should I take you to the emergency room?" He asked, concerned.

I shook my head. "Don't like doctors," I murmured. Jensen sighed.

"Fine but if it's still hard to breathe in the morning, I'm taking you to the doctor." I didn't respond, having already fallen asleep. Jensen sighed once again and lay his head back down on his pillow.

* * *

"Katie," Jensen nudged me gently. "Kate, babe, wake up." I didn't stir and Jensen grew worried. "Kate, Cliff and Jared are downstairs waiting. Katie?" He touched two fingers to the pulse point in my neck, sighing in relief at the feel of blood rushing through my veins. But when he watched my chest for movement, he saw none. Moving closer, he positioned his ear directly in front of my face and his eyes widened in fear. "Jared!" he yelled.

Jared and Cliff ran up the stairs to Jensen's room, stopping at the door. Jensen turned to them quickly. "She's barely breathing! We need to take her to the hospital."

Cliff quickly sprang into action, going downstairs to start the car. Jared, however, froze. He didn't move as Jensen picked Kate up and walked past him. "Jare, come on. We've gotta go. Jared!" Jared flinched and finally started following Jensen downstairs and to the car.

Cliff drove quickly but carefully, maneuvering cautiously through the streets of Vancouver.

* * *

Jensen and Jared paced in the waiting room as Cliff sat in one of the uncomfortable hospital chairs. Every time a doctor came out, the stopped and stared, hoping for news. Finally, they heard, "Ms. Padalecki's family?" The boys quickly stood in front of the woman as Cliff stood. "It appears to be a severe case of secondary drowning. When Ms. Padalecki was under water, she swallowed water, which entered her lungs. As a result, she is having difficulty exchanging oxygen and carbon dioxide when she breathes."

"So what can you do?"

"Well, right now, we have her on a ventilator. If she doesn't improve in a few hours, however, we will need to take her in for a bronchoscopy to clear out the debris in her lungs."

"Is she awake?" Jared questioned quietly.

"No. One of the symptoms of secondary drowning is extreme tiredness so she may be out for a while. I wouldn't worry, though. If the ventilator isn't enough, we'll do the bronchoscopy and she should be just fine."

"Can we see her?"

"Yes, just prepare yourselves. It can be pretty scary to see loved ones on a ventilator. She's fine. She just looks a little weak."

The doctor led them to Kate's room. The boys sat next to her bed, Jensen and Jared each holding one of her hands while Cliff waited by the door. They sat silently until Jared noticed slight movement coming from his sister.

"Katie?" Kate's heart rate sped up, the beeping of the monitor quickening and worrying the boys. Kate took in a strangled breath and her eyes shot open in fear at the feel the ventilator. The beeping continued to quicken and Cliff slipped out to find a nurse.

"Kate, baby. I need you to calm down, okay?" Jensen whispered as he brushed the hair from her face. "You're alright." Kate's wide eyes stared into his concerned ones as Jared squeezed her hand gently. Her heart rate eventually slowed and she glanced over at her brother, tears threatening to spill over.

"You're in the hospital, Kate." Jared said. Kate's heart rate sped back up momentarily until Jared continued, "It's okay. You're alright." Kate reached up towards the ventilator before Jensen took her hand and moved it to rest on her stomach.

"You can't touch it. You've gotta let the nurse take care of it, okay?" Kate pouted slightly but nodded nonetheless.

Once the nurse removed the ventilator, Kate relaxed against the bed and closed her eyes. "Sorry," she whispered.

Jensen smoothed back her hair. "What are you sorry for?"

"For scaring you. You wanted me to go to the doctor last night but I wouldn't let you take me. S'my fault."

"No, none of this is your fault, Katie. If that moron hadn't tried to drown you, none of this would have happened." Jensen stood and raised his voice. "And that wouldn't have happened if it weren't for Josh! And I couldn't—" Kate reached out, weakly grabbing Jensen's hand in an attempt to calm him. "I couldn't protect you," he finished lowly, not looking her in the eyes. Kate pulled him in for a hug, squeezing as tightly as she could, and refusing to let him go when he tried to pull away.

"Don't ever say that. Don't talk like you haven't saved me. I could have killed myself after Josh." Tears started pouring down Kate's face as she continued. "So don't say you haven't protected me. Because you have. More than you know."


	37. Wedding Troubles

I was allowed to leave the hospital the following morning. The producers gave us a few days off due to the circumstances so I decided to work on the wedding. Most of the planning was done but it seemed as though nothing was going right all of a sudden. I was about to break down and hire a wedding planner.

I was in the middle of a breakdown when Jensen walked in. Seeing my head in my hands and my body shaking with wedding stuff scattered around me, he knew I had had it. Calmly, he walked over to me, sitting down next to me on the floor. Wrapping an arm around my shoulders and gently moving my hands from my face, Jensen whispered, "Hey, it's okay. Everything is going to work out."

"No, it's not, J!" I exclaimed. "The floral shop got the wrong flowers, the caterer cancelled my order, and I can't find a dress that I like!"

"Honey, it'll be fine. We can fix all that."

"The wedding is in less than a month, Jensen. And I haven't found a dress. What am I going to do?" Jensen pulled me closer, pressing a kiss to my forehead.

"Here's what we're going to do. You, Kate, are going to call Gen and the two of you will spend the day picking out your dress."

"But, J—"

"I'm not finished," he spoke softly but I quickly silenced myself and looked down at the carpet. Jensen sighed before lifting my chin so that our eyes met. "You and Gen are going to look for dresses. Jared and I will watch the boys and I'll find time to call the floral shop and the caterer and get everything straightened out. All you have to worry about today is finding a dress that you love. I'll take care of the rest. Okay?" I bit my lip and nodded.

* * *

Gen was at the door not twenty minutes after my call, ready for our girls day out. As we were walking into the third shop of the day, I was beginning to lose hope. "Kate, we will find you the perfect dress if it takes us all day. We aren't going home without it."

We began looking through the dresses before an employee came out to help us. After listening to the style I was looking for, she brought several dresses for me to try on. I didn't care for the first six dresses I tried on but as I walked out in the seventh dress, I teared up. "Gen, this is it."

* * *

"I don't care if its not traditional. She wants lavender with baby's breath for the centerpieces and daisies for her bouquet." Jensen paused for a moment, listening to the woman on the other end of the line. "Because she likes daisies! No, this is her only wedding and I want it to be perfect for her. If she wants daisies for her bouquet, that's what she is getting." Jensen rubbed his forehead roughly. "Yes, white and purple daisies." He sighed, frustrated with the woman. "No, I don't care how much it costs."

Jensen looked up as Jared walked in with the boys. "Yes, thank you." Jensen shoved his phone back into his pocket and stood.

"You sure you're okay to do this, buddy?"

"Yeah, it's just…wedding planning is hard. I don't know how Kate managed as long as she did. That woman on the phone was ridiculous! She wanted us to change the flowers because they weren't wedding-y enough for her. Who cares?! It's not her wedding."

"Unca Jensen? Why are you mad?" Tom questioned. Jensen knelt down in front of the boys.

"I'm not mad, buddy. I'm just trying to make everything perfect for Aunt Kate."

"But why?"

"Because I love her. I want our wedding to be everything she dreamed it would be."

"Am I going to be in the wedding?"

"Of course! You and Sheppy are going to be the ring bearers."

"Ring bears?" Shep asked and Jensen chuckled.

"You're going to bring the rings to me and Aunt Kate so we can get married."

"Oh." Jared smiled down at his sons and his best friend before slapping Jensen on the shoulder.

"Well, are we ready?"


	38. The Lucky One

"So when do Gen and the boys have to head back to Austin?" Jensen asked as they walked towards the park.

"They've got two days left. The boys have to be at school on Monday." Jensen nodded and looked down, feeling Tom tugging on his hand. The park was in sight and the boys were getting antsy.

"Just a little bit further, bud," Jensen assured him before looking back to Jared.

"That must be tough. I mean, Kate works with us so I get to see her all the time. I don't know what I would do if she was in Austin all the time."

"It is hard. Sometimes I wonder if I'm doing the right thing, working in Vancouver. I mean, I'm missing out on so much of their lives."

"Yeah but you are also providing for them. And they love you. They may not understand why you're gone all the time now but they will one day."

"Maybe."

* * *

A few hours later, it was time to go. "Come on, boys! We've gotta stop somewhere on the way home."

"Where are we going?"

"We're gonna stop and pick up some cheesecake for Aunt Katie."

"Oooh! Do we get dessert too?" Jared chuckled.

"Yeah, you guys can get dessert too.

* * *

After Gen dropped me off, I went to the door, garment bag in hand. Jensen was on the couch but he shot up when I walked in. His eyes went to the bag and he grinned. "You found one!" he exclaimed.

"I did! J, it's perfect!" He made his way over to me, resting his hands on my hips.

"I'm so glad."

"So how did your day with the boys go?"

"Well, first I took care of the wedding stuff. Our catering order will be ready in time and I got the flower situation fixed too. Then we went to the park for a few hours and on the way home, we stopped and got some dessert. I brought home some of that cheesecake you like so much."

"Oh, you did?" He nodded and I leaned in to hug him. "Thank you! For everything you did today. I really appreciate it J." Jensen placed a kiss to the top of my head.

"Love you, sweetheart."

"Love you too, J."

* * *

"Honey," Jensen walked into the kitchen where I was sitting at the dining table. "What are you doing up so late?"

"Just thinking," I murmured. He pulled out a chair and took a seat next to me.

"About?"

"The wedding. It's coming up pretty soon."

"Not getting cold feet, are you?" He asked.

I chuckled. "No." Sighing, I placed my hand on his cheek lovingly. "We're getting married, J." He smiled at that.

"Yeah. Yeah, we are." He took my hand from his cheek, kissing the palm before enveloping it in both of his rough hands.

"J?"

"Mmm?"

"Thank you."

"For?"  
"For always being there. For putting up with all my problems. For protecting me. You could have easily decided I wasn't worth the trouble. That I was damaged goods after what happened with Josh. But you didn't." Jensen's jaw tightened at the mention of Josh but he quickly relaxed, his eyes bore into mine.

"Katie, I love you. So much. Nothing is ever going to change that. No matter what happens. You aren't damaged goods. You are so incredibly strong. You've gone through so much but you've endured it all. You haven't stopped fighting. And that makes you even more beautiful. I can't imagine what it must have been like. But here you are. Strong and brave and beautiful." Tears filled my eyes and I looked down. A few escaped and Jensen gently wiped them away with his thumb. "I am getting married to the most incredible woman I've ever met. You are more beautiful than I could have dreamed and stronger than I thought possible. I'm not putting up with you. I am in love with you." As more tears trickled down, Jensen pulled me onto his lap and wrapped his arms around me. "I love you more than I ever thought possible, Katie. And I am so lucky to be getting married to you."

I clutched Jensen's shirt, amazed by his feelings for me. He loved me. He truly loved me. And I loved him. So much. He was so kind and funny. He knew just how to comfort me when I was down or anxious. He stuck beside me through all the bad. He protected me. He helped me get back on my feet after my abduction. He went with me to therapy and stayed up with me when I couldn't sleep. He was absolutely the most incredible man I had ever met. And I knew, I was the lucky one.


	39. Willing to Wait

Today was the day. We were in Austin on break for the wedding. I had stayed the night with Jared and his family since Jensen couldn't see me before the wedding and I was missing him like crazy.

After eating a small breakfast, as my stomach was churning and I wasn't sure I could keep much down, I started on my hair and makeup. Afterwards, in just my bra and underwear, I sat cross legged in the middle of the guest bed, staring at the wall. I don't know how long I sat there before Gen came knocking at the door. She peeked her head in before stepping into the room quietly. When I didn't make any move from my spot on the bed, she spoke softly.

"Kate, honey, are you okay?"

Finally, my eyes trailed from the wall over to where she stood. I looked her in the eyes for a moment before my gaze left her and I focused on the floor. "I'm getting married today," I whispered. Gen moved cautiously to sit next to me on the bed.

"Yeah, you are." I bit my lip and Gen looked at me curiously.

"I—" I paused and took a breath. "I'm becoming a Padackles." Gen chuckled and soon enough, I was giggling uncontrollably. I turned to Gen suddenly. "Gen, I'm getting married." I grinned and Gen smiled back at me. "I'm getting married." I repeated to myself.

* * *

On our way to the venue, my excitement quickly turned to fear. I loved Jensen and I definitely wanted to marry him but I wasn't sure I could do this. My hands were trembling, my legs felt weak, and the nausea from that morning had returned. By the time I got into the room where I would be waiting, I was full on panicking.

My breathing labored, I struggled to calm my nerves. I hadn't spoken a word the entire ride there and Gen sat down beside me, concerned.

"Kate?" I looked up at her, eyes full of fear. "What's wrong?"

"I can't do this," I managed to gasp out.

"Woah, what's going on? You were so excited this morning."

"I can't—I can't breathe."

"Here, let's get you out of the dress for a second." Gen helped me undress and laid my wedding dress out neatly on the bed. "Is that any better?"

I shook my head, tears beginning to leak from my eyes as my anxiety grew.

"Hey, it's okay." Gen took my hand. "Can you tell me what's going on?"

"I—my heart is pounding and I can't breathe and I just—I can't stop shaking." I paused for a moment, too many thoughts jumping around in my head. "I think I'm gonna throw up." Gen's eyes widened, having not realized how bad this was until just then.

"Alright, let's just sit down for a minute, okay?" I sank down onto the bed but it did nothing to quell the ever-increasing anxiety. Taking my hand once again, Gen said, "Honey, stay with me." But it was too much. I shook my head as I began sobbing. "Hey, get out of that head of yours, Kate. Katie?" I started hyperventilating and soon the dizziness set it. "Kate, hey." Gen's hands were on the side of my face as she searched my eyes for any sort of recognition. "Focus on me, Kate. Just focus on me." My eyes finally found hers but didn't stay for long. Feeling a twist in my stomach, I shot up, ripping my face from her hands and rushing to the adjoining bathroom.

I barely made it to toilet before I was throwing up what little I had eaten for breakfast. Fresh tears streamed down my face as I dry heaved and soon, Gen was there, rubbing my back and whispering words of comfort. "It's okay, sweetie. Let it out."

I took in a deep breath before moving to lean against the wall. Closing my eyes, I let my head fall back to rest against the wall behind me. My heart still beating erratically, the tears continued and I wondered if this would ever end.

I heard Gen curse before she knelt down in front of me, careful not to rip her dress. "Kate, honey, I'm gonna go get Jared, okay?" My eyes widened and I grabbed her hand fearfully. "Hey, it's okay. I'll be right back. I promise." Reluctantly, I released my grip on her and she rushed to find Jared.

* * *

Gen rushed down the aisle where guests were already taking their seats. Making her way over to her husband at the front, she grabbed his hand and started pulling him with her. "What's going on?"

"Kate needs you." Behind them, Jensen furrowed his brows, concerned.

"Is she okay?" The groom questioned.

Gen sighed before turning to Jensen. "She's having a panic attack." His eyes widened and he immediately made a move to find his fiancé before Gen blocked him. "Let me and Jared handle it, okay? If we need you, we'll come and get you." Jensen frowned but stayed put as they went to check on Kate.

I was in even more of a panic than before when Gen walked back in with Jared. My brother quickly lowered himself to the floor and tried to talk me through my panic attack but nothing was helping. After about twenty minutes, Jared looked at his wife, unsure of what more he could do. I was sobbing and I felt like I was going to pass out. "Kate, just tell me what to do," he begged. I blubbered something about Jensen and my brother stood, fully prepared to bring him to me despite the rules.

Within seconds, Jensen came rushing in with Jared following close behind. He stopped in front of the bathroom door and looked at my brother before closing his eyes and making his way in. He carefully sat down next to me and reached out, feeling for me. I looked over at him as he found my hand and, still in my underwear, crawled onto his lap. He wrapped his arms around me tightly before speaking, "What's going on in that pretty little head of yours, huh?" I shrugged before realizing he couldn't see me and sighed.

"I don't know," I mumbled, burying my face in his chest.

"You don't know?" I shook my head. "Okay, well let's get you calmed down a bit, okay?" he said as he rocked me.

"Kay," I whispered.

His hand moved up and down my arm as he whispered to me, slowly bringing me out of my panic attack. I was about to fall asleep in his arms, exhausted from the attack, but when Jensen felt me relax, he pressed a gentle kiss to the top of my head. I looked up at him and, seeing his eyes still closed, poked his face.

"Hmm?"

"Your eyes are closed," I stated.

"Well I can't see the bride before the wedding, now can I?"

"Well technically, you can't see the bride in her dress before the wedding. And I'm not wearing my dress."

"Nope, I'm not breaking any rules." He shook his head. "Gen'll kill me."

"You bet I will." I looked up, seeing Gen walk back into the bathroom with a newly bought toothbrush and a tube of toothpaste. She helped me up and I stood on wobbly legs for a moment before I steadied myself. I took the items from her and began to brush my teeth thoroughly while Jared helped Jensen stand. I rinsed before feeling a hand brush against my waist. I looked in the mirror and saw Jensen behind me, eyes still closed. "We don't have to do this today," he spoke gently. I set the toothbrush down on the counter and turned, taking his hand in my own.

"I know. But I want to."

"Are you sure? That was a pretty bad one, Katie. I'd completely understand if you wanted to wait. I love you and I am more than willing to wait for you if that's what you need, okay?" I was silent for a few moments, thinking everything through before making my decision.

"Jensen?"

"Yeah?"

"Let's go get married."


	40. Move

"After you, Mrs. Ackles." I giggled before stepping into our hotel room, Jensen following close behind. Our flight had been long so it was late by the time we arrived. We made our way over to the bed as my heart pounded inside my chest. Slowly, Jensen pulled me towards him, connecting his lips with mine. One hand was on my knee, the other in my hair, gently holding me close. My hands moved to his chest, lightly pulling on his shirt.

Jensen's hand travelled up my thigh, moving underneath my dress and I jerked away, breaking the kiss. Jensen stilled, immediately removing his hand. "What's wrong?" His eyes were trained on me and I suddenly felt embarrassed.

"Nothing, I just—it's nothing." I shook my head and tried to pull Jensen back to me but he stayed in place, looking at me in concern.

"Babe, you're shaking. What's going on?" I looked down at my hands, too uncomfortable to answer. Jensen lifted my chin so I was looking at him and his eyes searched mine. Finally, his eyebrows rose in understanding and he removed his hand from my chin. "Kate, we don't have to do this tonight."

"No! No, Jensen. I want to. I really do. I just—I'm scared." The last few words came out in a whisper as I stared at the bed.

"Kate, look at me," My gaze slowly rose to look at my husband. "We can wait. It's okay. I'm not going to push you into anything you're not ready for."

"I'm ready. Just…go slow, okay?" Jensen nodded and reached for me but I pushed his hand away gently. He looked confused as I bit my lip. "Could you—could you close your eyes for a second?" He complied without hesitation and I stood, removing my dress. I stood in front of him, feeling incredibly self-conscious in the revealing lingerie I had picked out for this night. Finally, I spoke softly, telling him he could open his eyes.

As soon as he did, his jaw dropped. I bit my lip, unsure, before he took my hand, leading me back onto the bed. "I don't know what I'm doing," I whispered.

"Just do what feels right. I'm right here. I'll take care of you." I took a deep breath before kissing him, moving my hands to the buttons of his shirt.

"You know, it's kinda awkward…you having so much clothing on." He chuckled, quickly removing his shirt and pants, leaving him in his boxers.

"Better?" I eyed him, biting my lip as my gaze travelled downward.

"Much."

Eventually, we were both bare. I was lying back as Jensen hovered over me, skin nearly brushing skin. Jensen's hand came up to cup my breast before settling on my stomach. He looked me in the eyes as he lined himself up and I reached to grip his bicep. I closed my eyes for a moment. _It's okay, Katie. This is Jensen, here._

Jensen waited for my eyes to reopen before he spoke, "Are you sure?" he questioned. I nodded. I was ready.

Keeping his eyes on mine, he pushed into me slightly. He stopped as I gasped, eyes on me. "I'm good," I breathed. "Keep going." Jensen hesitated but slowly continued until he filled me up. He brushed my hair back and kissed my neck. My eyes had closed but I opened them when I felt his lips on my skin. Jensen looked down at me, waiting patiently for me to give him the okay. "I'm ready. You can move."


End file.
